So, yesterday as I was watching Dr. Phil a statement was made by Rev. T.D. Jakes. He said “being unforgiving is like drinking poison, and waiting for someone else to die”. I found that to be such a strong statement, and a true statement as well. By holding onto resentment or ill feelings we have about someone or something that has hurt us, we are only hurting ourselves. I personally have found that if you can take a moment to step into the shoes of the person who has wronged you, and find compassion for them and their situation, it is easier to find forgiveness. Life is too short to hold on to these feelings. Believe me the person that has wronged you, has probably already forgiven themselves, or doesn’t even know that they have even hurt you.
My advice? Let it go. Bring the hurt feelings to the surface, feel them, understand them and let it go. I have been told this so many times in my life and I guess I never understood that I could forgive, but that did not mean that I would forget, it’s still there but it is not fueled by ill feelings . For instance, as a young girl, my father tried everything to get me to lose weight. He tried paying me, or offering me a car or telling me that I would not be able to find a man if I didn’t lose the weight. We had diet salesman come to the house when I was like 12 years old. I remember eating a half of a box of my moms chocolate diet aides. LOL Chocolate diet aids?? I carried these feelings of inadequacy around with me my entire life. My weight defined my self worth. If I was a size 16 then I was worthy to go out, and be in the public. If I was a size 26 I should stay inside so as not to subject people to the sight of me.
Now, I have to say, I love my father very much. He also struggled with weight problems, and was diabetic. We also have family members that weigh 400 plus pounds. As an adult I have been able to forgive my dad for the things he did and said because once I stepped inside of him I realized that he only wanted the best for me, and he was worried that I would take on all of his health problems if I continued on the way I was. My dad was driven by fear from the experiences he was subjected to in his life. How could I fault him for loving me and wanting the best for me.
That being said, I am still overweight, however I have a husband that adores me, I am happy, and living a full life I would love to say my weight no longer defines me, but that would be a lie. I am still working on that, however, I have learned to love me. Whether I eat pizza or junk food. I still love me.
As a child I thought my dad was super man. He always seemed to know what I was doing and he always called me out on it. I literally believed he could see through walls. He was big and strong. My dad was a force to be reckoned with.
I am proud to say, “I am just like my dad”.
So, I must report that I am only four weeks into my book, The Intuitive Way, and my life has changed tremendously. Instead of stressing over things that happen throughout the day I am able to step outside of the situation and watch to see how it plays out. I have positive and loving thoughts about whatever it is that is troubling and it seems to unfold in my favor. Small things, mind you, but things that definitely would have thrown a wrench in my day had I gotten all uptight about it and tried to fix it. The greatest thing about using your intuition is that it makes daily life flow so much more peacefully.
I also want to mention meditation. I have been meditating every day for the past four weeks, as well. I swear by it and so does Dr. Oz 😉 Hey if it’s good enough for Dr. Oz it’s good enough for me. Anyway, since I started meditating my dreams have become extremely vivid. Before, I was unable to remember a dream. I would try so hard, but, nothing. Well, Saturday I had my very first lucid dream and I have to tell you it was pretty awesome. It was vivid in color. When I woke up I had to check to see if it was real.
This morning as I am sitting here having my coffee, letting my mind wander about people and things. Contemplating, why does this happen to this person, or why does one person suffer, while another is healthy and full of life. I was also thinking about how VERY religious my sister is, she attends church, teaches church school, the whole nine yards, while I am more spiritual. I pray and try to treat people in a godly manner, but I don’t go to church. I spent six years in catholic school and I truly loved it. It was a family and I personally do not remember any negativity from that time. Not like the things I have learned as an adult. There are certain circumstances where I feel the catholic religion promotes hate, and I just cannot do that. I do not believe that God wants us to call out a certain group of people and hate them.
I watch Joel Osteen and I love him because he is so positive and uplifting. I choose to focus on the positive. I am not willing to “hate” a group of people because they don’t live in accordance to the bible. Everyone sins. No one sin is greater than the other. I, myself, want to love everyone. I just feels so darn good. Whether you go to church or not, you have the ability to spread joy with just a simple word. 🙂
Me: God, can I ask You a question?
Me: Promise You won’t get mad
God: …I promise
Me: Why did You let so much stuff happen to me today?
God: What do u mean?
Me: Well, I woke up late
Me: My car took forever to start
Me: at lunch they made my sandwich wrong & I had to wait
Me: On the way home, my phone went DEAD, just as I picked up a call
God: All right
Me: And on top of it all off, when I got home ~I just want to soak my feet in my new foot massager & relax. BUT it wouldn’t work!!! Nothing went right today! Why did You do that?
God: Let me see, the death angel was at your bed this morning & I had to send one
of My Angels to battle him for your life. I let you sleep through that
Me (humbled): OH
GOD: I didn’t let your car start because there was a drunk driver on your route that would have hit you if you were on the road.
God: The first person who made your sandwich today was sick & I didn’t want you to catch what they have, I knew you couldn’t afford to miss work.
God: Your phone went dead bcuz the person that was calling was going to give false witness about what you said on that call, I didn’t even let you talk to them so you would be covered.
Me (softly): I see God
God: Oh and that foot massager, it had a short that would knock out all of the power in your house tonight. I didn’t think you wanted to be in the dark.
Me: I’m Sorry God
God: Don’t be sorry, just learn to Trust Me…. in All things , the Good & the bad.
Me: I will trust You.
God: And don’t doubt that My plan for your day is Always Better than your plan.
Me: I won’t God. And let me just tell you God, Thank You for Everything today.
God: You’re welcome child. It was just another day being your God and I Love looking after My Children…
We are all in this together. If we could only find love for one another, the world would be such a better place. The phrase “It takes a village to raise a child” is so true. I remember when I was young. Life was very different. People had each others back. Lend a helping hand to your neighbor. If you see someone struggling, go to them. Never get the idea that you have nothing to offer. We all can find a few kind words to speak over someone who is down. Never under-estimate the impact you can make on someone’s life. When I woke up this morning I could hear Joel saying “speak vision into their life” We often don’t see our own capabilities until someone speaks it into us.
It is not what we “have” as physical things that matter. I can honestly say that at the end of my life I hope that I leave behind some people who I was able to lift up. I want to leave my mark on those around me. Monetary things have very little value to me. What matters is my ability to love those who need to feel love, even if they are not particularly lovable. I would love to be responsible for changing the path of even one person. If I could do that, then I know I made a difference.
I hope everyone has a safe and happy weekend. Spend it with the ones you love. Take the time to tell someone you love them because in life there are no guarantee’s.
I literally have nothing to report, but didn’t want to go to many days without a post. Things are great on this side of the world. I am hoping to have my first set of prints for my dream bored this weekend. I am pretty excited to get started on it. I am proud of myself. I have been having some really great days, and even if something negative does happen I am able to breath and let it go fairly quickly. I meditate daily which I believe keeps me grounded and centered. I am truly happy with my life.
This morning my assignment was to find “gifts in the garbage” meaning. I had to write about situations where I felt unfulfilled, or situations where I have let myself down. I, then, had to use my intuition to imagine completing each one, and how I would feel once they were accomplished. It felt amazing and made me see that I am human and each day before me is the day that counts. I have found that I have the ability to make choices, and decisions in my life that will allow me to live free and happy. I have clarity, now, more than I did before.
Wow, what an amazing day. It is 75 degree’s. Incredibly unseasonably warm for this area. Anyway, today my landlord stops to tell us we cannot have a cat in the apartment. Normally, I would freak out and try to move out and blah blah blah, followed by an uggg uggg uggg.
Thankfully my new-found peace of mind has not allowed this to set me back. I am not worried, I am not throwing my cat out. I know that everything will work out. I am not sure how. I just know it will. It will all come together without any help from me. Wow, that is very odd to say, but feels really good, at the same time.
My Boo Boo Kitty is my little angel. I will not abandon her. It is as simple as that.
I just had to report that I am still calm. hahaha I am starting my 4th week of my new way of life and I have to say. This is the best I have ever felt in my life.
Hooray for riding the wave, instead of trying to fight the current. 🙂
Well, it’s Monday morning and I will be completely honest, I am not in the mood to go to work. LOL…. Seriously, though I have to go to work or I would be as big as a house, and as lazy as a slug. I actually am looking forward to getting out and about today. The weekend was totally beautiful with record high temps. Rog and I got out for a little ride each day, cooked out on the grill, and simply enjoyed each others company. It was nice but for some reason my I had zero ambition. I literally laid around all day yesterday. I even took a two-hour nap. Something I don’t usually do.
However, I did something I have wanted to do for so long now, I went out and bought myself a framed poster board to build my dream board. I am pretty excited. I have decided to use the photo’s that I have been using in my blogs as well as any other inspiring photo I come across. I ordered my first set of prints yesterday through Walmart.com. Now, all I have to do is find the perfect place to hang it. I have always wanted to create a dream board, a real one that I can display in my living room, the most used room in my house. I’ll take pictures of it throughout the process to share with you all.
Oh yes, and I was also asked to apply for an admissions position at a nursing home that I have worked at in the past. I am definitely going to apply because it is something I did not seek out. Something I have come to realize is if I am going to just live my life without trying to control it, I have to take opportunities as they come. It’s not so much what “I” want to do, it’s what is presented to me, that matters. I don’t want to miss an opportunity that might be perfect for me. Now, that being said. I do love my current job, so if I don’t get this new one, it will be “no biggy” 🙂 I did love working in the nursing home atmosphere, though. I loved my residence and even brought them home with me on occasion.
As I was relaxing, I was thinking of how carefree my eighteen year old son is. He is happy, and even though he has disappointments his down time passes quickly. My other son expresses his worry for him because he is so trusting. In that moment I realized that I would rather be a trusting person who gets taken advantage of on occasion rather than live life jaded and guarded. I want to be free, like a child is free.
My bald baby
Last night before work, Brandon (my eighteen year old, carefree, easy-going child) was going to cut his hair. My boys use a shaver with the #2 attachment which keeps their hair pretty short. Well when he was getting ready to cut his hair the attachment fell off and he ended up cutting a strip right down the center of his head right to the scalp. Now most kids would have freaked. Not Brandon, he laughed so hard. He ended up having to shave his entire head. This morning when he got up he was still joking about it. He is such a positive person and things seem to come easily for him. I think that the rest of my family, including myself could take a lesson from this boy. I would rather live my life happy and carefree. If I try I know I can find the humor in almost anything.
Today has been the most amazing day. It’s winding down and we are getting ready to settle in for a good humorous movie. I hope everyone had a great day!
I wanted to take a moment to pop in and wish everyone a Happy St. Patty’s Day. I hope everyone gets out there and celebrates life. Not because it’s St. Patty’s, but just because every day is a gift, and each one should be celebrated. Take today to be carefree. We’re planning on listening to music, cooking out, maybe taking a ride out. Take some pictures of the day. Nothing really solid. We’re off to where ever the day takes us.