Thanks Dad!

Published March 28, 2012 by Stuff My Brain Thinks

So, yesterday as I was watching Dr. Phil a statement was made by Rev. T.D. Jakes.  He said “being unforgiving is like drinking poison, and waiting for someone else to die”.  I found that to be such a strong statement, and a true statement as well.  By holding onto resentment or ill feelings we have about someone or something that has hurt us, we are only hurting ourselves.  I personally have found that if you can take a moment to step into the shoes of the person who has wronged you, and find compassion for them and their situation, it is easier to find forgiveness.  Life is too short to hold on to these feelings.  Believe me the person that has wronged you, has probably already forgiven themselves, or doesn’t even know that they have even hurt you.

My advice?  Let it go.  Bring the hurt feelings to the surface, feel them, understand them and let it go.  I have been told this so many times in my life and I guess I never understood that I could forgive, but that did not mean that I would forget, it’s still there but it is not fueled by ill feelings .  For instance, as a young girl, my father tried everything to get me to lose weight.  He tried paying me, or offering me a car or telling me that I would not be able to find a man if I didn’t lose the weight.  We had diet salesman come to the house when I was like 12 years old.  I remember eating a half of a box of my moms chocolate diet aides.  LOL  Chocolate diet aids??  I carried these feelings of inadequacy around with me my entire life.  My weight defined my self worth.  If I was a size 16 then I was worthy to go out, and be in the public.  If I was a size 26 I should stay inside so as not to subject people to the sight of me.

Now, I have to say, I love my father very much.  He also struggled with weight problems, and was diabetic.  We also have family members that weigh 400 plus pounds.  As an adult I have been able to forgive my dad for the things he did and said because once I stepped inside of him I realized that he only wanted the best for me, and he was worried that I would take on all of his health problems if I continued on the way I was.  My dad was driven by fear from the experiences he was subjected to in his life.  How could I fault him for loving me and wanting the best for me.

That being said, I am still overweight, however I have a husband that adores me, I am happy, and living a full life I would love to say my weight no longer defines me, but that would be a lie.  I am still working on that, however, I have learned to love me.  Whether I eat pizza or junk food.  I still love me.

As a child I thought my dad was super man.  He always seemed to know what I was doing and he always called me out on it.  I literally believed he could see through walls.  He was big and strong.  My dad was a force to be reckoned with.

I am proud to say, “I am just like my dad”.

6 comments on “Thanks Dad!

  • i’m sure your dad did love you beyond measure.

    you said “I would love to say my weight no longer defines me, but that would be a lie.” you may reconsider that thought . . . it doesn’t define you to me – you have a husband who adores you and does not define you by what you weigh, and my guess is that it does not define you by anyone at all.

    here’s the lie: you define yourself by your weight. it’s clearly a lie because everyone else can see you are so much more than a number on a scale.

    here’s the truth: you’re a perfect, lovable, capable, whole & magnificent being filled with potential! start being honest with yourself!
    peace & fun to you.

    • Thank you so much for the comment. It touched me to tears, and you are right. I AM the only one that defines me that way. I appreciate you and hope for peace and fun for you as well.

      Since I joined this blogging sight I have found such a great group of people. People that can change the path of my day by a simple comment.

      It means a lot. 🙂

  • yay!! – the truth always leaves us feeling good. here’s a simple way of weeding out the lies; when you have a thought that that makes you feel ‘bad’ – it’s simply not the truth it’s a story that we’ve become attached to, that’s all.
    wishing you truth today & everyday!!

  • Leave a Reply

    Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

    You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

    Twitter picture

    You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

    Facebook photo

    You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

    Google+ photo

    You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

    Connecting to %s

    %d bloggers like this: