Wow, so much has changed over the past week. I am stepping up to a greater challenge at my job. I am excited to learn more. I love to learn. Today is my last day of any official training. Starting tomorrow I am on my own. I am left to figure it out by myself. I have no doubt that I can do it and I am reminding myself right now that I shall stay within the minute I am in. I will stay focused at the task on hand, and if I have to work late tonight it will all be for the greater good.
I knew my time would come. I know that God is there guiding my steps, and as long as I go willingly I will make it through each and every challenge with grace. I also know that even though God is there to guide me and be there for me, I have to be there for myself. I have to take care of me.
Today is going to be a great day. Lots and lots of learning. I am going to keep an open mind and stay relaxed.
I love my Job!! 🙂
Good morning my friends. As I am having my morning coffee and looking over my facebook page I see people working out, walking, jogging, and wogging. Which I like to use for a combination of the two. It occurred to me that my most important exercise I get in my day is my morning meditation. It is something I have been going for a couple of months now. It has allowed my mind to be clear. I am able to live in the “now”. I am able to accept the next minute I am alive for what it is, an opportunity to be compassionate, to have empathy, to be aware of how you make others feel when you are in a room. Twenty to thirty minutes of stillness each day will greatly improve anyone’s quality of life.
Yesterday, at work, amidst of all the chaos. As I was watching it unfold, I was able to just be in the situation without it causing me to go into panic mode and tighten up, which ultimately will increase the likelihood of me making mistakes in my own work. I watched the anger rise up from this person in the office. It rose up slowly, and then she blew. She made a huge scene and stormed out. After she left you could have heard a pin drop for about thirty seconds. It was really awkward for the person who was on the receiving end of her rant. It was at that moment that I realized I used to be her. I used to let tense situation make me boil over. Now, being able to just sit back and watch to see what is going to happen next is so freeing. It’s kind of like watching a screen play. I’m waiting to see how this is going to play out. Then thirty minutes later, we are up and running again and I am able to finish the day. It just works out. One way or another a solution will come forward. BUT if you are so clouded with anger, and fear you will miss those solutions and you will miss those opportunities.
Don’t worry! Let your life unfold as it will. Take a step back during a tense situation, and just wait to see what’s next. My theory is you are going to get there one way or another. You can go kicking and screaming or you can relax, be flexible, and go with the flow.
Love my life! 🙂
Having my morning coffee and watching Oprah’s Life Class that I DVR’d from last night. Today’s lesson is how to become more spiritual. Oprah explains that we are all spiritual beings having a human experience. That statement is so profound. We all have an energy that we put out. If we put out negative energy we get negative energy back. If we want to be happy, make someone else happy.
Oprah’s life teacher this week was Depak Copra, he is a spiritual leader, who had several really simple tricks to change our thought patterns. Most of us are unaware that the story we carry around for ourselves is the reason our lives are what they are today. It takes practice but that story can be changed. Since my “Aha” moment which was that I was going to be happy in the NOW. I am going to enjoy this minute right here right now instead of thinking ahead at what might happen. When I first started. I would chase away the negative thoughts, but there was this little voice all the way in the back that would pop up here and there. I believe this little voice as my conscious instead of my super conscious. It would say “sure go ahead be happy now, but you know catastrophe is around the corner”. One day while I was driving I heard it loud and clear in an almost sarcastic way. “Yea, you are so happy now, but you could drive of the side of the road and die right now” It was almost comical. I thought oh my God, am I crazy or something? Where in the world did that come from and why was it there? Turns out that once I called that “little voice” out as being a totally ridiculous, useless thought, it went away. I remember telling my mother about it and she said “well it’s true, you could drive off the road and die. That’s why you have to live every day to its fullest because you never know when it will be taken away.
I feel completely liberated from worry in my life now. I am thankful to be 44 years old. This is the best time in my life. I have never felt so good about myself and my ability to add substance to another person’s life. Today I hand in my application to volunteer at the nursing home here in town. I am ready to step it up. I only hope to make the residence feel good about there lives.
Well, it’s Monday morning and I am seeing mounds of snow on the ground. It’s mid April and our schools are on a two-hour delay. Amazing! I guess mother nature knows best. As I get ready for work I wonder what drama will be brought into the office today. It’s always something. Oh well, I cannot let this little bump in the road steal my joy. I have to go work and enjoy my day. Listen to music, sing and have a nice cup of Chai Tea. I always say a hot cup of tea is like a warm huge from the universe. 🙂 I am well aware that worry will get me nothing. It is the most wasted emotion. However, it is only natural to worry a little bit. Worry, for a moment until you realize that God has got this. There is nothing for me to do but to find joy in each and every day.
As I sit here blogging, having my coffee and gazing out the window from time to time. I see the birds playing and a lot of messy snow. I love all types of weather. Blizzardy days make me feel cozy and loved. Hot summer days make me feel alive like a free spirit, raining days, well, I think rainy days make me feel cleansed. Like all of the stuff from all my yesterdays seem to be cleared away. I am so grateful. For so many things. Simply having the ability to get up out of my bed and walk across the floor. I am feeling very thankful for all that I have in my life. I can only imagine what lay ahead. Only great, amazing things, I am sure.
Oh, and before I forget. Oprah’s Life Class is on the OWN network channel 58 for those of us in upstate NY from 8-10pm live. If you want to feel empowered and like your life could use a little purpose. Check it out. DVR, it. I am serious. Tonight they are going to teach us how to leave anxiety behind forever. I don’t have much anxiety, myself, but I do know people who have it very badly that could benefit from watching. After spending a couple of hours with Oprah I feel like I can accomplish anything. Like I myself can live on purpose.
As hard as I try to stay positive it becomes increasingly more difficult due to the negativity that surrounds me. For the past six weeks the lead secretary has been on leave because she had surgery and it has been so easy to stay positive because I was the only one in the office. Well, aside from the salesman, drivers, and the bosses comings and goings. It has been such a wonderful time. Until Friday, that is. She is back to work “full-time” and the negativity and drama started the evening before over the phone. She is what Bishop T.D. Jakes likes to call a pint person. She does not have the capacity to let things go, and makes more out of something than it should be. I used to really dislike her, but decided long before she left for surgery that she was a broken, sad person that deserves my friendship and understanding, and as I still feel that way I also wonder if I can handle the constant anger and discontent she brings into the room. I am trying to live my life in a better way. I am trying to be more accepting of people as well as myself, but now I wonder if I was only able to feel real joy because the meanness was removed for a short time. I mean, I know that every day has a lesson and I am sure this is one of those, but how do I know if this lesson is that I am supposed to stick out, OR, is this a lesson that I should move on to find something more positive in my life.
I know that there is already a plan laid out for me and I am suppose to go with the flow, and so far my flow has me going to a job that makes me feel as though I am in an abusive relationship. One day I am important and treated with respect and kindness and the next I am under the bus with tire marks on my face. Friday she put in her notice. I was actually relieved to know that maybe my time has come. That maybe I would get the chance to let the company see what I could really do, but unfortunately when I inquired about taking over her position I was told it was too difficult. Which made me feel worthless yet again. I don’t understand. They don’t know what I can do. I have a college education and fifteen years experience running retail businesses, but yet I am not smart enough to do her job. That hurt! Now, I don’t want that position whether she stays or she goes. They can find someone else to do it. I’ll continue to do the grunt work and be happy. I am pretty sure this whole “quitting” thing was just another way of getting attention anyway.
God, I know you have a plan for me and I trust that whatever it is it will be perfect for me. As I have said before, I truly believe my life has more to offer than being a secretary at a beer distributor. I thank you for guiding my steps and I will go without question. I only want to be happy. Whatever it is I am suppose to be doing, as long as I am happy, that is all that matters.
So happy we have finally made it to Thursday. It has been a trying week. Upgrades at work are about to take place, and there are people who are so resistant to change it has been quite the experience. If I were a betting woman I would say this upgrade will be put on hold yet again. I personally like change. If I don’t have some change now and again I get bored. Anyway, I am sure today will be eventful as well since I am the go between for two of our employees that cannot speak to one another because they just don’t like each other I feel like I am running a nursery school sometimes and all I am is a secretary lol
Anyway, on a good note the sun is shinning. It looks beautiful outside. Last night after dinner Roger and I took a drive down by the locks and took some pictures. He of course was all about the pictures of the deer. I, however, was in awe at the beauty of the sky. It was so colorful with swirls of clouds that looked like wisps of cotton candy. Just getting out for an hour after dinner seemed to wash away the days head aches. Now, I am ready for a positive day.
I just finished my morning meditation. I have noticed since I began practicing meditation about six weeks ago that I am now able to find that stillness anytime during the day. It has helped me in my work and in my home life. Since making the conscious decision to live in the moment my mind is quieter and life has been so much easier. I am paying attention to my life so I can figure out what my purpose is.
I have learned to pay attention the thoughts that come at the end of a moment of stillness. Yesterday, as I was driving, out of the clear blue sky something inside of me said that I should go to the nursing home and spend some time with people who have been left behind. Ya see, I worked in the nursing home in my younger years and I loved it. I became these people’s family, and my biggest regret was leaving them behind when I went on to live my life. I want to be a part of that again. I felt like I made a difference. When I worked there I would see families drop their mother, or father off and tell them they would be back. Most of the time they did not come back. It was heart breaking, but I was there to fill the void as best I could. My mother is very lucky in that she would never have to feel abandoned and unloved.
Anyway, this Saturday is the day. I am going to make up a bag of different things and I am going to go into the nursing home just up the street from my house and spend sometime there. I have wanted to do this before but didn’t because I allowed my fear of not being wanted stop me. Not this time. It is time to push past the fear and face the possibility of rejection so that I can possibly be there to help someone feel good about their life. Even if they are living in a nursing home.
The last couple of weeks I haven’t had a lot to write about. I have been living my life on purpose. I have been letting one event flow to the next without any help from me and it has been working fabulously. Instead of forcing things into my life I have decided to let it come if it was supposed to come. I guess you could say I had an “Aha” moment several weeks ago. It began to make sense that maybe the reason I am not fulfilling my purpose or living my dream is because my idea of what I am supposed to be doing and God’s idea of what I am supposed to be doing are probably pretty different, and since God knows best I am going to let him lead me in the direction I am supposed to be in.
I have always wanted to be able to have a position in life where I am able to be nice to people. In some way, I would love to be able to make people feel good about their lives. I would like to be able to lift someone’s depression and help them find hope. I am not sure how, or when. I am just sure that some how, some way I am suppose to reach out to those who are feeling unworthy and let them know that they are worthy. We are all worthy. I explained to my son that whatever dream he has for himself is worthy of coming to fruition. It is not his business to know how or when. It is only his business to keep that dream alive and pay attention to opportunities presented to him that could push him even that much closer to seeing his dreams come true.
We all have a purpose. It is our job to figure out what that is and do it. I do not know “what or when” but I am now paying attention to what my life is showing me right now, as I am sure there are messages out there I have been missing. I am ready and open to receive them now.
Tune into Oprah’s Life Class tonight at 8pm on OWN. It is amazing and inspiring and worth the watch 🙂
I have missed you all. Over the weekend my husband and I went to Burlington Vermont for a little get a way. Just the two of us. There is a street that is completely closed off to traffic with quaint little shops lining both sides of the street. People were everywhere. We found out later that Obama was in town. It was completely amazing. So amazing, in fact, it made Monday a little painful. We walked the streets, went out to eat, and finished off our trip with a stop at Ben & Jerry’s. We really must do that more often.
On another note. Monday was week two of Oprah’s Life Class. This week she had Tony Robbins. He taught us how to change our state from depressed or sad to powerful and strong. He also touched on how to “change our story” I have since done just that. My old story had me stuck in the same situation over and over again. I now know that even though my story may have been true “to me” it can be changed very easily and with a little thought. My old story was, “Hi, I am Michele, I have struggled my entire life with my weight. I have tried literally everything to get rid of it, however I have lost and gained more than a human person over the course of my life. I will struggle with this for the rest of my life. My biggest fear is to become so over weight that I will be unable to function as a normal person.” I am naming this girl Miserable Michele
My new story, “Hi, I’m Michele, I am a viable worthy woman. I live and eat to feed the clarity of my mind and soul. I care about the function of all of my organs and I wish only to feed those organs the cleanest of foods. I love me, therefore will treat me with the same love and understanding I deserve. I feel good and I am healthy.” I call this girl “Queen Michele”
I realize that my new story is going to be something I am going to have to work hard to implement. Because, I have known doubt my old story is going to try hard to creep back in. I have to diligent against it. I do not want to feed it and make it strong anymore. Wish me luck. Next week Bishop T.D. Jakes is co-hosting Oprah’s Life Class. Love it!