November 29, 2012 Thursday *already*
So it’s already Thursday morning. I am pumped. I feel amazing. I feel like because I try and try again that God is going to reward me with a win. A win for me is to love myself enough to treat myself with kindness. I treat my body like a dumping ground for crap a lot of the time. I have tried over and over again to turn my lifestyle around. I have smoked, I have eating more than I should and I have laid around like a slug long enough. It is time to take a stand. I love healthy food and the way I feel when I am eating right and doing a minimal amount of cardio.
I really believe there is a little girl inside of me that just doesn’t want to comply. She doesn’t want to be told what to do. I, as an adult, know that I have no right to treat my body the way I do. I know that it isn’t even that hard. I love to cook healthy meals and I am good at it, if I do say so myself. My healthy food is amazing. Ya know, the kind of food that makes you moan. Yeah, well that’s my healthy food. J
There are times when I am going strong, eating right, moving more and all of a sudden something rises up in me and I am off on a binge. A senseless binge which in of itself could kill me.
I just know that one of these times that I try I will succeed. I know I will because God helps those who help themselves and I am damn sure not giving up on myself. I deserve a quality life. I mean even if I were to walk out and get hit by a bus next week, I will have been happier to know that the previous week I was able to move around and do things. Smile and have energy. Rather than lying around feeling all bloated, near death anyway. I am so sick of people saying “just live your life and have fun. Don’t worry about that stuff. Healthy or not you could drop dead for any number of reason’s“. Um hello? Yes, I could drop dead at any moment. Maybe that should be the reason I want to improve my overall quality of life. I certainly cannot live life to the fullest if I cannot get off the couch. I deserve more. I will have more.
There, that was my therapy for the day. J It’s about time I change the way I am think, because obviously it hasn’t been working.