This morning after finishing my meditation I grabbed my journals and my coffee and sat in my favorite chair directly across from the front door, of which is wide open due to the magnificent weather we are having. It’s a morning just after a good rain. The birds are happy, the rain water is still slightly dripping of the roof. The sun is so bright. It is beaming through the window of the door hitting me square on the forehead. I sat still for a some time. I wanted to savor the moment. I felt as though I was being energized, lifted up. This spurred a direct writing in my journal about being grateful for all that I have.
I know I have talked about being grateful before. It is such an important aspect to the degree of a person’s happiness. If you can find things to be grateful for everyday it will be virtually impossible to become depressed. If you are always looking for the good your moods will reflect that and depression will come a thing of the past. Who wants to be depressed, right? I have been there myself. They were difficult times. Not only for me, but for my family. Who wants to see there loved one miserably and lifeless day in, day out? I can only look back at those times as deep learning experiences. After all, with each bout of depression came an awakening. Whether it be small or profound each time I made it through, I came out with a gift. A small, but necessary change in myself.
I am grateful for those bouts of depression, they have gotten me here. To a place in my life where happiness is not so elusive. For me that is being grateful everyday for everything and to allow people to be who they are without it having any bearing on me at all. I have found a way to, even in hard times, get myself back to a place of peace rather quickly by reminding myself that this is just a small ingredient into the bigger picture and it is necessary to get me where I need to be. I have been able to not take things personally by knowing that a person’s opinion is just that. It is a reflection of them, not me. I also do not assume to know what someone is thinking. If I begin that thought I simply say to myself “Michele, you cannot know what another person is thinking, and if you could it would be none of your business, anyway”.
These little techniques have allowed me to become free. I am now me. Like me or not, here I am. I cannot be anyone other than me. I am unique. I am Michele.