You’re the Reason I’m Still Here

Published May 11, 2013 by Stuff My Brain Thinks

Yesterday, I posted the song “Wave on Wave” by Pat Green.  This song has a lot of meaning for me.  One day on my way out to visit my mother I felt really good.  I felt uplifted, and like my angels and spirit guides were close to me at this time.  So as I have done many times before I ask that they make me aware of their closeness.  I am a believer in signs.  I believe if you ask for them, and really listen, you will hear.  So on this particular day as I was driving Wave on Wave came on the radio.  The words struck me immediately.  This was my awakening.  This song explains it and I can feel it every time I hear it.   As I listened I was feeling, oh I don’t know, kind of like a sense of relief, peace, and amazement how my life had changed.  I went from feeling hopeless, to being filled with hope in such a short period of time and it all stemmed from the deepest, darkest moments of my depression where I felt as though the people I loved would be better off without me.  It was a terrible time, but just the same time, one of my most cherished moments, because it was then that I began to understand.  It is hard to explain, but everything started making sense.  I could see how I was causing the upheaval in my life.  It was me.

One night in a dream my God father Micheal, came to me and left me with the knowing that whatever it was I was planning was not worth it, take it from him.  It was peculiar.  When I woke that morning I called my mother to talk to her about it.  Michael had many struggles in his life,  and committed suicide after taking the life of his wife in is early thirties.  He wasn’t thinking rationally, and made a mistake he would never be able to take back.  I never knew him, but felt the need too.  I ordered the article from the newspaper archives.  The image tugged at my heart.  She was leaving him, and he couldn’t take that.  He was a prison guard so he was armed, he snapped and shot her then called the police, waited in the front yard for them to get there, when they did he ran around the back of the house and shot himself in the head.

Other than this tragic event everything else I have heard he was that he was the nicest boy.  He served our Country and worked hard for a living.  I wanted to know him, not just for the horrible mistake he made, but who he was all around.  He saved my life, he is one of my angels.  My mother found a picture of him holding me as an infant, and it now hangs in my living room.  He is with me daily now, and anytime I listen to Pat Green’s Wave on Wave I can be reminded that he may have taken two lives in the natural world, but he has saved mine in the supernatural.

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6 comments on “You’re the Reason I’m Still Here

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