This morning as I was sipping my coffee and listening to The Awakened Life by Wayne Dyer on YouTube it occurred to me that I spent most of my life being completely identified with my thoughts. I was almost 100% a left brain person. I had to make sense of everything, and I believed everything thought about me that entered my mind. The reason my right brain didn’t have a chance to come forward and direct my steps to a better life was because my thoughts were constant and debilitating. I suffered many bouts of depression throughout my young life, some so dark I contemplated taking my life many times. It is so glaringly clear that my mind was lying to me. Which I can now see was my ego and with the help of Eckhart Tolle I am aware that my greatest problem was my complete identification with it.
Over the past ten months I have learned to meditate thanks to Deepak Chopra and Oprah Winfrey who, with one of their 21-Day Mediation Challenges set the stage to allow me to develop this craft in my life. It has been like taking a permanent vacation from my old self. A self that wanted nothing more than to wallow in its own misery, creating and manifesting problem after problem. As I look back and am able to see the “big picture” I can see how the world was not against me but rather I against it. I am so grateful to all of my spiritual teachers for allowing me to find myself. For allowing me to quiet my mind so that my right brain could come through and add some insight into my life. To become a service to my right brain, if you will. Instead of continually playing the same recording over and over of how I was not good enough, worthy enough, or smart enough to just be. I can now hear my inner voice, I respectfully call my inner voice of God, allowing it to guide my steps to fulfilling my life’s purpose.
I am still cultivating that tiny seed inside of myself and forever will be. I found my inner purpose, now it is time to link that up with my outer purpose and to do it for the betterment of mankind. I feel as though if I can help even one person find that tiny seed that we are all born with and cultivate it, I have done a service. I now ask God every day to allow me to serve in some way. To help those who suffer with a madness of the mind as I did for so long. My life and the lives of those around me will not only have purpose but will have deep meaning as well.