This morning I am going to do a direct writing experiment. Direct writing, for those who have never heard of it, is writing in the first person after a short meditation on a question or problem you are having. It is writing without judgement or forethought of what is being written until the flow is complete. So basically, I will first outline the question or problem either by saying it out loud or putting it down on paper and then meditate. Normally I meditate for twenty to thirty minutes a day, so that is the time period I will be using this morning as well.
My question today is why am I finding that I am struggling more to maintain my healthy boundaries these past couple of weeks. What has change and what can I do to fix the situation. Is there a lesson to be learned from this struggle and if so what is it.
Ok, I am off to meditate. Below will be my direct writing. I am sure it will come with much insight.
Michele, first of all you have many reasons for the current struggle you are having. You have written this book and instead of simply writing it and putting it out there, you have taken on the roll of worrying about it. You have become completely attached to the outcome of it. You have decided to obsess on whether or not it is good and whether or on people are will like it. You must remember the real reason you have chosen to write this book in the first place, to help people. You didn’t write it to become rich and famous. You have done it to help people like you who struggle with their weight and the madness that is going on within their mind.
Next you are no longer living your daily life for the pure quality of it. You are doing it to lose weight. This is a big lesson here. You have never been able to lose weight before and you will not now. You can, however, live your life in such a way as to be productive and happy and realize your purpose. You have become once again attached to the outcome of what you are doing. It has become about being a size twelve instead of being happy. This is surely enough to cause failure. You are projecting your thoughts ahead of the minute you are in and it is causing stress and anxiety which is causing you to eat unnecessarily.
If you can step outside of yourself and get back to basics you will be just fine. Sometimes we all have to reevaluate our situations to move forward. This one is quite simple. Stay present, check in with yourself daily to be sure you are not looking ahead or looking back for any reason. Your goal here was to improve your quality of life. You have done that, now all you have to do is simply live each day in the support of it.
Today you must remember that you are living your life to be a good person. You are here to give what you can to others because we are all here to serve. Live as though you are banking good karma. Enjoy the doing and allow the end to come as it will. As long as you are enjoying the now everything else will come in its due time. Start today by creating your intention and then move forward enjoying each minute as it unfolds in front of you. You are a champion of hope as Joel Osteen has so eloquently put it. You are blessed and will see these blessing unfold in an exceedingly above and beyond way. God is on your side, and with God anything is possible.