Before mediation I always ask to be guided to my best possible outlet and today I guess that means writing this blog. For the past couple of days I have been seeing words
and phrases that have drawn my attention to the fact that up until now I have been living a half-life. I have always looked to other people for what was best for me. When I went to college I didn’t consider what I was interested in, I only considered what others told me would allow me to make a living. Not only did this not fulfill me, but the money is still not that great. It allows me to pay my bills, to live week to week and that is it. I’m not complaining by any means because I am well aware that there are many without even that simple luxury.
I always longed to be “normal” whatever that means, but now I see that being normal or ordinary is not what one should strive for. Anyone can “fit in” or blend into the background, but it takes a courageous person to be unique. One of a kind. I have been living this way for so long I am unsure as to what it means to be unique anymore. I do believe I am myself for the most part. A silly girl who likes to make people laugh, and a loving girl who wants only for people to walk away from her feeling better to have known her in the first place.
Even though I am not exactly sure what I should be doing with my life, I do know that for the past year I have been doing things that make me happy, such as writing, meditating, and growing spiritually. This has been, by far, the best year of my life, and I am positive there are many more to come. I know that as long as I continue to enjoy what I am doing I will evolve into the person God has meant for me to be.
I want nothing more than to be a blessing to people. To help others in some way. How, I am not sure but something tells me to keep writing, therefore I do. I write every single day whether or not anyone reads it. It’s somehow, fulfilling me to do so. I have always said that if I can make a difference in one life, then I have made a difference in the world, it is through my writing that I hope to do just that.
Something inside me tells me that I will do more. I guess until I know what that more is, I will continue to do what I am doing, now. I will enjoy the present moment. I will not look ahead or long for anything as I know that when I am ready I will be presented with my next chapter. I will know exactly what I need to know, when I need to know it.
Life is Now. Life is not yesterday, nor is it tomorrow. It is simply, Now.