It’s kind of nice that spending time with certain people no longer affects me the way it used to. It is still a little difficult at times but the nice thing is, is that I can now recognize their ego’s need to be right which allows me to also recognize that what they says and do has nothing to do with me. For some reason these particular people have an uncontrollable need to be right. It is greatly important to them to tell people how to live their lives.
I know that this is something that they are dealing with from deep within themselves. I wish I could help them, but I know that I cannot. That the only help they can receive is that from themselves. At least through my own self-awareness I have come to understand that my reaction to another persons abrasiveness was my ego’s need to defend itself. It was my ego’s need to be right.
There were times I would come home from spending a couple of hours with them and over eat and become severely depressed for a solid twenty-four hours. Now I can see that I was the one causing my own depression. People cannot depress me. Only I can depress me. I have learned to take responsibility for my own happiness and it feels amazing. It is so amazing that I wish there was a way to help others who are suffering do the same. Then again, I have to reiterate, I am responsible for my own happiness, therefore others are responsible for their’s.
As much as my ego would love to be the hero, this is something I am not capable of doing. I am incapable of giving others their peace back. I am incapable of showing people what it means to live, to find the happiness that lives deep within their own core. The happiness that cannot possibly come from any outer situation or thing. I am, however, capable of sending blessings and prayers their way. I am capable of asking God to help guide them to their own inner peace, as He has done for me, and on that note I have to say Thank You God. I could not, or would not have found myself has it not been for your guidance and support.