I have to go to Curves shortly to get weighed and measured. I know that is the reason I am all off this morning. I am sure it is the reason I feel like I could choke a bitch right now. Hahah! But seriously, I hate to be weighed and measured. I did not find success with my weight loss by it being all about the number. Last year I lost quite a bit of weight and I only weighed myself one time, and that was ten months after the start of my lifestyle change. And the only reason for that was because I went to the doctors.
The only good thing about this is I have told my Curves coach that I don’t want to know the results, good or bad. It is simply not about that for me. I know that a lot of people need that aspect of their journey to keep them going but I just do not. It doesn’t work for me. Good or bad I tend to become anxious over it and use it for a reason to eat shitty food. If I have lost I will rationalize it that I have done well, so why not take a day and eat what I want. If I have not lost then I will use it as a reason to throw in the towel. Like it or not, that is me.
You can tell that I am not myself because of my rude potty mouth. I apologize now for it, but I cannot change it because at this moment right now that is what I am feeling and to change it, to me, would be dishonest. If there is one thing I want to convey in my blog is that I am always being authentically me. whether good or bad, it is still me.
At least after this stupid weigh in I wont have to do it again for three months. Everyone else does it monthly but I have told her straight up that I would only be doing it once a quarter and that is it. I mean I pay for this membership and I am not about to go through this every month. I would be a raging bitch all of the time. Not happening. I happen to love my sun shiny disposition, and I am not willing to compromise it for some stinking number on a scale or a measuring tape to satisfy some corporate ass licker.
Well, it’s that time! I am out of here to get this over with, so I can move on with my life. I hope to be dong a more positive blog later in the day. Cross your fingers that no one gets hurt. LOL….. Just kidding!