So, after my melt down at work on Friday I knew I had to figure out what was going on with me. I came home Friday and spent the rest of the day in bed. On Saturday morning I got up and began looking back at the past couple of weeks to try to figure out what changed. What could have made me go from up and happy to down and sad? The only change is that dreaded weigh and measure that took place on the 8th of this month.
Now I know that most people will not understand this, but I cannot be weighed and measured. I spent most of my life trying to lose weight, tracking my results through the scales and or the measuring tape and one thing was always certain, I would fail. The minute I weighed or measured my mind-set would change and I would go off the deep end. It didn’t matter if the numbers were good or bad. I have a problems with this, so last year on the first of January I gave away my scales and decided that I would gauge my success by how I felt on a daily basis. That I would eat and exercise to enhance my life, not to lose weight, and the results were remarkable. I went from a tight size 24 to a comfortable size 16.
I never claimed to be like everyone else. I am me and the scales did not work for me. I had to go for fulfillment rather than grading, so to speak. I don’t need a number on a scale or measuring tape to tell me if I am living my best life. I know that from the inside out. So this morning I am going to call my Curves coach and find out if I have to be weighed and measured and if I do I simply will no longer go. If it is a requirement that I must fulfill to be a part of the gym then I will chalk up my $40 a month membership fee as a lesson and move on.
I have a Jillian class this morning at 6:15, so I’ll call before I go. I have to get this out-of-the-way today so I can move on with my life. I miss me. I want me back. This depressed girl that I have been dealing with for the past couple of weeks is annoying and I am done with her. Unfortunately, she is extremely stubborn, and if she doesn’t get what she needs she is a serious pain in the ass. 🙂
So I shall go blow dry my hair and get ready to make that call. I will not waver. It is either I will be exempt from the weigh and measure aspect of the gym or I will exempt myself from going.
Chow for now 🙂