Practicing Self-Awareness with Love

Published March 4, 2014 by Stuff My Brain Thinks

I have my first big decision to make this month.  Should I continue to go to the Jillian classes even though it is causing me sever pain in my rotator cuff?  First off I want to start by saying that even if I decide not to attend those classes anymore that I would still get up and go to Curves first thing in the morning, and I would go back to going six days a week instead of five.  When doing the Jillian classes I needed a couple of days rest because of the strain it caused to my muscles.

Last night I was waken by sever pain in my shoulder many times.  I have to say, I am not in this for pain.  I am not all about the “no pain no gain” bullshit that other fitness experts are into.  I am in this primarily for heart health.  I want to do what is right for my body and my mind.  I want to eat right and move my body to be healthy, not get ripped abs or a tight ass, which would be impossible without surgery anyway considering the amount of time I spent being severely overweight.

Click for image credits

Click for image credits

With all that being said, I have to ask myself whether or not I am considering dropping the Jillian classes out of fear or out of love, as my previous blog post suggests.  I don’t fear that the pain with get worse or that I will lose the use of my arms so much, I guess, as much as I believe that I am considering dropping the class because I love my body and feel as though I am putting it under undue stress.  I am working to improve my quality of life, not hinder it.  If I am losing sleep and in pain all day at work, then what is the working out for?  It is not improving anything at all.

I just so happen to love me enough to know what my body can take and what it cannot.  At this point I wasn’t even able to go to Curves at all this morning because of the sever pain to both of my shoulders.  Last month it was only the right one, while today it is both.  My earlier belief that if I stuck it out it would get better is not proving to be correct at this point.  Several years ago when I when on an exercise kick I ended up hurting my back so badly that I had to lay on the floor for hours to get even a small amount of relief.  I swore at that time that I would never do that again.  Therefore, I believe my answer is clean at this point, no more Jillian classes.

Since I proclaimed the month of March to be self-awareness month I think it is absolutely important to know what is right for me.  It is important that I explore each and every situation/decision for what is best for my overall life, not for what others are going to think or say.  I am sure that this decision will get an eye roll and I will undoubtedly be meant with resistance when I go to the gym with my decision.

It’s ok though, because I am not living MY best life by what others think or feel are right for me.  The only one that knows what is right for me, is me.


5 comments on “Practicing Self-Awareness with Love

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