Pro-op Appointment complete, God Help Me

Published November 14, 2014 by Stuff My Brain Thinks

Yesterday was my pre-op appointment.  It all seems so real now. I feel a little emotional.  I have to ask myself if I am ready?  Am I strong enough?  I know that I am usually pretty successful in most things that I do, but I haven’t had surgery in almost thirty years and I’m scared.  At the same time it feels really right.  I don’t know if that makes any sense or not, but I have to admit I am not making much sense to myself at this point.

Intellectually I know that I am ready.  I have been living mostly healthy for almost two years now.  I have been exercising and making better decisions where my health is concerned.  I know I deserve to know what it feels like to finally live in a body that is a healthy weight for me but this is kind of drastic.  I believe I couldn’t be in better hands than with the folks at the Adirondack Medical Center, and I also am very lucky to have the support of an amazing family.

I have four days left not counting today.  God is with me.  I know I will be just fine but the tears keep coming. Why do I cry?  I am not really sure.  Am I losing my mind?  Is this normal?  Am I going to be a basket case until they wheel me away? I believe that if we ask we shall receive, therefore, I ask you, God, help me find peace with this.


2 comments on “Pro-op Appointment complete, God Help Me

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