how to accept life

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Where Do You Fit In?

Published April 22, 2015 by Stuff My Brain Thinks

Last night the sweetest husband in the world got a gig for Friday night for a couple of hours.  For those of you who don’t know what Roger does, he is a drummer.  He has retired so many times over the years, and yet again he is coming out of retirement to play to do this gig.

I was first attracted to Roger because of his talent.  I just love artists of all kinds.  I am drawn to their cdownload (2)reativity, however, I am simply not into the bar scene anymore.  I dread this gig because I know he wants me to go.  In an earlier post I exclaimed how I only do what I want to do these days, but I guess that is not entirely true.  There are times I still do things I don’t want to do to make the people I love happy.

This is different from being the people pleaser I used to be.  I spent so many years of my life not really knowing who I was.  I always went along with whatever everyone wanted.  I didn’t even think for myself.  I carried the thoughts and beliefs of the people I most wanted to fit in with.

I remember shortly after I began my meditation practice when I became more in touch with who I truly am.  I was shocked to find out who I was, or lack there of.  I realized that I literally had no identity.  I had no idea even what I liked or didn’t like,  My identity was a little bit of this, from one person and a little bit of that, from another.  It took several years of writing to finally figure out who I am, and guess what?  I am a pretty terrific person.  Shocker……  I actually love me.

It turns out, I am a little kooky, but I’m fun.  I have some way out beliefs that most of my friends and family don’t get and that’s OK.  I don’t have to be like everyone else to fit in.  I have found that people like me in spite of my wackiness.  If I am to be completely honest, I am not one of those people who even wants to sit in the shadows.  I want to be out front, standing up for myself and for what I believe.  0ae697e72320ba16dba90e6e6dd3b4f1

That been said, let’s all stand out today.  Let’s show the world that we are not part of the cookie cutter mold that some believe they need to be.

We are one of a kind, baby.  Let’s start acting like it.

Many Blessings

❤ Michele

Waking up in Northern NY

The Stuff My Brain Thinks

Published April 21, 2015 by Stuff My Brain Thinks

shutterstock_63877450Last night I had a hunch that it was time to start looking into creating a real website for my blog so that I can add other aspects to it as I grow.  It’s time to move forward, I got the message loud and clear.  Thankfully I have the greatest teacher guides, they are always there to give me the exact information I need, when I need it, so I am not worried one bit.

I know that I will be able to build a handsome website, that will give me the opportunity to spread my message.  It’s funny because since getting the vibe that it was time to get a website up and moving, I have been thinking a lot about the name of this one, Stuff My Brain Thinks.  When I named this blog several years ago it was just after the worst depression of my life, which was also the biggest blessing of my life because it made way for my awakening.

I called it stuff my brain thinks because at the time I suddenly became aware of all of the garbage that was going on inside of my head.  The worst of the worst, I tell you.  It was no wonder I was looking for a way out.  Anyway, since this time I have spent a lot of time writing.

Every time a thought or emotion would come up I would write it down and then do a direct writing exercise I learned somewhere, I can’t recall.  This technique is simply to clear the mind with a couple deep breaths and then start writing.  I didn’t think about what I was writing I just wrote.  A few years later and countless filled journals and I am happier than I ever thought possible.  For many years I felt doomed to a life of misery.  I thought it was a disorder that I would have to live with forever.  Oh, how wrong was I?36111-Success

I was continually unraveling all of the stuff my brain was thinking.  Of course, I know now that the thoughts in my head are just that, thoughts.  Some of them are amazing and productive and some are junk.  I was considering changing the name of my website but now that I think about it, it makes perfect sense as to why I named it the way I did in the first place.

I became aware of the separation between my thoughts and the observer of my thoughts and that was the only way I knew to articulate it at the time.  We can change the stuff our brains think.  We can be responsible thinkers.  I mean heck there is a ton of hoop la about taking care of the body, how about the mind?  Shouldn’t the mind get some hoop la too?

Anywho that is the stuff my brain was thinking this morning 🙂

I love you all!  I hope you have the most blessed day!  Keep your eye out for your messages…..  They are coming at you every day.

Michele  ❤

Spiritual Enlightenment and Icky Emotions

Published April 15, 2015 by Stuff My Brain Thinks

Does being awakened and enlightened mean that we never get angry, sad or annoyed?  I don’t think so.  God made us with an array of emotions, lets use them.  What kind of person walks around happy all of the time.  I mean, I am happy quite a lot but when something happens to annoy or anger me, the people in my life don’t know what to do.edf98fc94bd66505855f0f5b3e1259ee

Because it is so out of character for me to be anything but happy and uplifted these days it seems if I do have an off couple of hours it throws everyone else off as well.  This is precisely what happened yesterday.  I am working alone this week because my secretary is in Florida and wouldn’t you know it, this is the week one of our most important printers goes down for a couple of hours.

By the end of the whole ordeal I’m not going to lie, I was a bit frustrated, nothing serious, just a bit agitated to have to deal with this issue while I am working alone.  However, on the bright side, I had a hunch that I should test the printer at like two o’clock in the afternoon, which is about two hours before I needed to use it.  Had I not listened to my intuition I would have gotten backed up at the end of the day, held the boys up from loading the trucks and the worst, I would have gotten out of work late.  But It all turned out well because I did listen to my intuition, did the test print, discovered it wasn’t working, and the rest is history.

I want to say thank you to my spiritual team for giving me the information to check the printer out, and I want to thank myself for listening and following that information.  Turns out the Ethernet cable came loose.  Chalk one up to the all-knowing!  

Today is a new day.  I am open and ready to move through this day with grace.  I am ready to flow with what is and to be open and receptive to the hints and messages from my spiritual advisers.

My Daily Affirmations:

  • I am open and receptive to the good and abundance of the universe.
  • I talk less and listen more.  I give people the gift of being fully present with them.

Happy Hump day my friends.  Life is what you think it…

Michele ❤


Published March 2, 2015 by Stuff My Brain Thinks

It’s been a while since I have actually posted a blog, and since there have been some things swimming around in that mind of mine, I figured I would release them to the blogosphere.

So here it goes.  I was born and raised a Catholic.  I spent six years in Catholic school and my family are still Church going Catholics to this day.  As for me, well, I have different beliefs as an adult.  Don’t get me wrong the six years I spent in Catholic school were the best.  I remember the sticky rice and thick bread we had for lunch.  Oh and lets not forget the bagged milk.  Ahhh the memories.

I loved the nuns and singing in Church.  I loved the togetherness I felt going there but I don’t actually recall obsorbing much knowledge about God and the bible except that most of what I did would probably land me in hell one day.  I knew I was a sinner so it was just something I accepted.

I spent several years of my young life in Church two and three times a week.  I have fulfilled my Church going for a life time, in my opinion.  I do not look down at people who believe in the bible or going to Church.   Our beliefs are our own and each person’s belief is their truth.  There are so many different ways to worship.  There is no right one.  They are all right.

If I could explain my views on God to my family I would say, to me, God is everything.  God is the universe and when I speak of the Universe I speak of God.  God lives within us all and to worship God, to me is to worship myself.  I personally do not believe that God can be contained in the skin of man.  I believe that deity was created because most people need to have something physical to focus on.  It is a representation of what God is but not who He is.  As far as the bible is concerned it was written by man, so I have my doubts there.   And frankly, my God is a loving God.  A lot of the stories in the bible just do not represent what God is to me.

God is the all seeing, all knowing force that created the world.  God is the trees just before winter as they die and those same trees as they find life again in the spring.  God is inanimate and ever moving.  God is the life force within us all and that which connects us all.  God is indescribable.

Just know this, everything is life is based on reciprocity.  Whatever you give you get.  If you want to worship the Universe/God do right by yourself and all the people you come in contact with.  Be responsible for the vibration you give off to the world.  Love is the creation of all things so just love your way through life and you cant go wrong.

So in conclusion, I would say to my family.  I know we don’t see eye to eye on this subject but we are all about love, so lets just agree that we are different and love each other, be a family and move forward.  No judgments on either side.  🙂

A Little Bit of This a Little Bit of That

Published October 5, 2014 by Stuff My Brain Thinks

Tomorrow I have my nutritional review class at the bariatric center in Saranac.  I have completed all the test and jumped through all of the hoops to have this surgery done.  Now, I am waiting for approval from my insurance company.  I am very fortunate to have really good insurance, and I don’t foresee any issues or have any doubts that I will be approved but the wait is still hard.  I keep telling myself that it cannot happen until the precise time it is supposed to happen. It’s kind of like being pregnant, only it’s the birth of a new chapter in my life.

On a another note, the other day I downloaded the HAYHOUSE app on my phone.  It is free and offers many great classes on spiritual growth and manifesting a positive, happy life.  I urge anyone who is reading this to check it out.  I watched the streaming class with Louise Hay and Cheryl Richardson.  It was called, You Can Create An Exceptional Life.

While watching they offered an exercise to try to prove that what we think is what we get.  This exercise is simple, first picture something in your mind, for example, I pictured a stack of money, and then simply let it go.  Picture it again a few seconds later and then again after that.  Each time seeing it in your mind and then letting it go.  After that go about your day and pay attention to see how long it takes the universe to show you exactly what you had pictured.

I did this experiment that night while lying in bed watching TV.  I pictured a stack of money three times just as they instructed.  Not a minute later a commercial came on for a food sealer that showed a sealed stack of money.  I was amazed.  I realized more than ever that I had to be sure to think the best quality thoughts so I can have the best quality life.screen568x568

Louise and Cheryl also talked a little bit about asking and receiving what it is you want for your life.  They stated to ask out loud what it is you want and the universe will meet you where ever you are to help you achieve it.  I thought ok, I can do that, that’s easy so I asked out loud; how can I lose two and a half pounds by Monday morning (my next appointment at the bariatric center).  I simply asked it and went about my business.

I noticed throughout the day I chose foods higher in protein, I drank a lot of water and did some dancing.  All of this happened without any effort from me, meaning I didn’t have to make myself do any of it.  The weekends are the hardest times for me.  I tend to be unproductive and over eat, so I am feeling pretty good about this.  Anyway this morning I woke up having lost a pound and a half.  Can I get a hell yea?  I only have one more pound to go.

I bet you can guess what I did this morning, I got up, meditated and asked the question out loud; What do I have to do to lose one pound by tomorrow morning?  Being that it’s Sunday I am feeling pretty confident that this is going to happen.

Today is the day I prepare for the upcoming week.  I cook meals and prepackage them into individual containers for lunches and dinners.  I get my clothes out and I clean the house.  I am 100% certain that when I wake up tomorrow I will be the exact weight I need to be to appease the center.

The scale and I have become friendly these past couple of months, as I have had to watch my weight very closely during this process.  I had to be sure not to gain and if I did lose it could only be a few pounds so as to keep me with in the guide lines to be approved for surgery.  It’s been a learning experience.  One that I have fully enjoyed.  Hopefully this week will be my week and I will get the approval notice.

I ask the out loud; What do I have to do to get approved for surgery this week? 

Another Aha Moment

Published October 1, 2014 by Stuff My Brain Thinks

I realized this morning that my quest for consciousness is something I must consciously do.  I actually have to put thought behind it and be ultra aware of my thoughts.  Slowly but surely I have evolved from a deeply unconscious person to a person that is now self-aware and I did it by setting my intentions on it.

I am now aware of the thoughts that are occurring in the background of my life.  The thoughts that can and will cause deep bouts of depression if left uncensored.  I imagine that most of my old conditioned thinking is a build up of many, many past situations and challenges, and my perception of them.  Life changed dramatically when I first heard that I didn’t have to believe or follow every thought.  That thoughts are the ego’s way of taking care of us in it’s own destructive, sometimes abusive way.

Hearing that simple statement from, I believe, Eckhart Tolle, created a separation between thought and awareness for me.  It became the opening I needed to change my life.  Slowly but surely I would hear a negative thought come into my mind.  I was aghast at the mean things I was telling myself.  I also came to realize it was all lies.  It is absolutely clear to me today why I was so depressed.  Why wouldn’t I be, considering I was living with a constant badgering so harsh I wouldn’t dare speak the words out loud.

Anyway, my point is, if I don’t get up each and every day, meditate and set my intentions, I will once again be sucked into life’s craziness.  Without even realizing it, I could become unconscious once again.  I have been there and done that, no thank you.  I am taking back my life.

So today I intend on embracing the uncertainty.  I am excited at all the new adventures that will come before me.  I intend to be conscious enough to see the signs of the universe or God.  To be aware enough to notice the synchronistic moments that will happen today every day.

I am going to continue to use positive affirms because when we have desires and intentions the universe rises up to help us realize them.

Weight-Loss Surgery

Published July 9, 2014 by Stuff My Brain Thinks

Weight-loss-Surgery-Gastric-Bypass-Lap-Band-GastrectomyThis week I did something I didn’t think I would ever do.  I called and made my first appointment of many to look into getting the weight-loss surgery.  I said I would never do it but since losing a hundred pounds last year, I have had a change of heart.  Once again I made it to 199 pounds and am slowly creeping back the other way.  It’s not that I dislike myself.  On the contrary, it’s that I love myself and I know that in order to be truly healthy I have to get to a healthy weight.

I don’t know if I will go through with it or if I am even a candidate at this point, but I am going to take the time to look into it.  I deserve to experience life as a person of a healthy weight once and for all.  I am ready to finally get to where I am supposed to be and stay there.  However, until then I will do my best not to gain to much weight.  I worked so hard to get that first hundred off, I don’t want to have to take it off all over again.

I will do everything that is required of me, and as with everything I do, I will do my very best.  I am putting this in God’s hands.  Meaning, if it is what is right for me, it will happen, and if not, it wont.  At this point I have no expectations.  I am simply taking the steps to see if it is right for me.

Love…… What else is there?

Published May 9, 2014 by Stuff My Brain Thinks

I haven’t felt much like writing lately.  Life has been amazing.  I have been reading and walking, meditating and preparing to make a new vision board.

As my last post stated I am reading a book called Remembering the Future by Colette Baron-Reid.  I am feel very connected to this author.  She greatly changed my life last year with her book “The Weight-Loss Program for People Who Feel to Much.  I was forever changed through many, many journal writings.  I filled seven books in 2013 alone.  These books are filled with my journey to become a newer happier more peaceful me.

love_me-2387I was able to take a close look at my life and how my choices and thoughts were affecting my body, my happiness, my overall way of life.  I am still over-weight, but I love me.  I truly and forever deeply love myself.  It took a lot to get here, but I made it.  I make mistakes every day but in the end I forgive myself.  I express my love and compassion for myself and move forward.  I know longer taunt myself relentlessly for mistakes and I don’t belittle myself .  I show myself the respect I would give any other person in my path.  Rarely do I even feel guilty.  It may pop up for a second but then I am remember I don’t do “guilt”  it’s a waste of time and serves no purpose, much like worry…..  Both emotions are fruitless.

It has changed me.  I have learned to treat myself with kindness even after over-eating sometimes.  I am amazing, and God has given me another day to do better.  The best apology we can ever give past mistakes is how we live now, and the only way is love.  Love will conquer!  But it has to start with loving ourselves first.  Once that is mastered everything around becomes more peaceful.  Life becomes joyful.

Anyway, I am excited to get my new vision board done this weekend.  Colette described an interesting new outlook on creating and manifesting, using a vision board, since I am a lover of the vision board I am of course very excited to get started.

I will post a picture of it when it is done.

Happy Friday all.  It felt good to write again.  ☺

With much love, Michele ♥

I Had a Dream

Published April 25, 2014 by Stuff My Brain Thinks

Well, it’s Friday!  I have not much to report.  My plan today is to go to work and do what I do best.  I’m praying for a nice day and weekend.  Nice enough to possibly get outside and enjoy some nature.  It’s been slow going so far.  We have been struggling to make it to 50 degrees, however today does look like it may make it to 59!  Woot Woot!


Last night I had a dream that I cheated on Roger.  I have never cheated in my life.  I mean, it has crossed my mind, because I have been cheated on and I guess I had wondered what the big deal was.  Was it the excitement of cheating that made it so alluring?  I must say though, in this dream, which played out like a well written movie, I cheated and then had to figure out how to hide the lie.  It was all very stressful.  I lied and lied and lied and it seemed never-ending.  I couldn’t stop until at the very end, through exhaustion, I really only wanted to come clean.  I wanted nothing more than to be free of the never-ending lies and deceitfulness.

Anyway, I walk away with this; I will never cheat.  Simply through the insight of my dream, I know that this is not something that would work well for my psyche.  In know way would that ever be worth it.  I have watched people cheat and often wondered why?  I guess it is different for everyone.  People make their choices based on their life circumstance, therefore I do not judge.  I can only say that I am glad I have never done it and equally glad that my subconscious mind allowed me to experience it without actually experiencing it.

Awareness and the Activated Pain-Body

Published April 23, 2014 by Stuff My Brain Thinks

I just finished chapter 5 in A New Earth.  This chapter is all about the pain-body.  There was a lot about this chapter that resonated with me.  First of all, my recent sickness.  I am not one to become ill.  I am normally pretty healthy person, however looking back to what happened just before becoming sick I realized that a situation arose that activated my pain-body which allowed for a lot of negative thoughts and emotions.

eckhart-tolle-painIn the book Eckhart talks about this very point.  He speaks of something called a psychic parasite.  This psychic parasite comes in to play when our dominant pain-body becomes active and we unconsciously allow it to take over.  Allowing it to bring about negativity into our lives.  This very thing is what the pain-body feeds on.  When I became negative and allowed for the negative story to play out over and over for a few days it weakened me.

It caused my immune system to break down just enough to allow the sickness in.  Now that I am aware of this, I am going to be more conscious the next time it happens.  All I have to do is be present with it and allow whatever it is that has caused my unhappiness to be.  That is it.  There is nothing tricky about it.  I only have to allow it to be without suppressing it or trying to push it away.

This goes along with something else Eckhart has said in the past; “Whatever you resist, persist”.  Therefore the next time I have a negative emotion I am only to allow it to be.  I am only to be present with that emotion instead of telling and retelling a story about this emotion  Rethinking or retelling a story only keeps the emotion alive, and unfortunately our bodies cannot differentiate between thoughts and actual events, meaning that if a bad situation arises and we rethink that situation over and over again, the body thinks the situation is actually happening.  Doing this only creates unnecessary stress on the body, which could very well create illness.

So here I have it.  Just another form of presence I need to bring into my life.  I love working on me.  I have become one of my favorite projects.  ☺

With much love

Michele ♥



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