Last night the sweetest husband in the world got a gig for Friday night for a couple of hours. For those of you who don’t know what Roger does, he is a drummer. He has retired so many times over the years, and yet again he is coming out of retirement to play to do this gig.
I was first attracted to Roger because of his talent. I just love artists of all kinds. I am drawn to their creativity, however, I am simply not into the bar scene anymore. I dread this gig because I know he wants me to go. In an earlier post I exclaimed how I only do what I want to do these days, but I guess that is not entirely true. There are times I still do things I don’t want to do to make the people I love happy.
This is different from being the people pleaser I used to be. I spent so many years of my life not really knowing who I was. I always went along with whatever everyone wanted. I didn’t even think for myself. I carried the thoughts and beliefs of the people I most wanted to fit in with.
I remember shortly after I began my meditation practice when I became more in touch with who I truly am. I was shocked to find out who I was, or lack there of. I realized that I literally had no identity. I had no idea even what I liked or didn’t like, My identity was a little bit of this, from one person and a little bit of that, from another. It took several years of writing to finally figure out who I am, and guess what? I am a pretty terrific person. Shocker…… I actually love me.
It turns out, I am a little kooky, but I’m fun. I have some way out beliefs that most of my friends and family don’t get and that’s OK. I don’t have to be like everyone else to fit in. I have found that people like me in spite of my wackiness. If I am to be completely honest, I am not one of those people who even wants to sit in the shadows. I want to be out front, standing up for myself and for what I believe.
That been said, let’s all stand out today. Let’s show the world that we are not part of the cookie cutter mold that some believe they need to be.
We are one of a kind, baby. Let’s start acting like it.
Last night I had a hunch that it was time to start looking into creating a real website for my blog so that I can add other aspects to it as I grow. It’s time to move forward, I got the message loud and clear. Thankfully I have the greatest teacher guides, they are always there to give me the exact information I need, when I need it, so I am not worried one bit.
I know that I will be able to build a handsome website, that will give me the opportunity to spread my message. It’s funny because since getting the vibe that it was time to get a website up and moving, I have been thinking a lot about the name of this one, Stuff My Brain Thinks. When I named this blog several years ago it was just after the worst depression of my life, which was also the biggest blessing of my life because it made way for my awakening.
I called it stuff my brain thinks because at the time I suddenly became aware of all of the garbage that was going on inside of my head. The worst of the worst, I tell you. It was no wonder I was looking for a way out. Anyway, since this time I have spent a lot of time writing.
Every time a thought or emotion would come up I would write it down and then do a direct writing exercise I learned somewhere, I can’t recall. This technique is simply to clear the mind with a couple deep breaths and then start writing. I didn’t think about what I was writing I just wrote. A few years later and countless filled journals and I am happier than I ever thought possible. For many years I felt doomed to a life of misery. I thought it was a disorder that I would have to live with forever. Oh, how wrong was I?
I was continually unraveling all of the stuff my brain was thinking. Of course, I know now that the thoughts in my head are just that, thoughts. Some of them are amazing and productive and some are junk. I was considering changing the name of my website but now that I think about it, it makes perfect sense as to why I named it the way I did in the first place.
I became aware of the separation between my thoughts and the observer of my thoughts and that was the only way I knew to articulate it at the time. We can change the stuff our brains think. We can be responsible thinkers. I mean heck there is a ton of hoop la about taking care of the body, how about the mind? Shouldn’t the mind get some hoop la too?
Anywho that is the stuff my brain was thinking this morning 🙂
I love you all! I hope you have the most blessed day! Keep your eye out for your messages….. They are coming at you every day.
I am a firm believer that we show people how to treat us. Do you have boundaries in place for your life? For many years I never had, but as I learned to love myself I found that I needed boundaries, not only boundaries for myself but boundaries for others.
I needed to know what I would, and would not tolerate from the people in my life, and what I would, and would not tolerate from myself. It took a little time and a lot of digging to figure out just what I would allow.
It wasn’t easy, but I learned to say no without guilt. That was a big one for me since for most of my life I was a people pleaser. The first few times I literally felt a spark in my sacral chakra. I was, admittedly, a little over whelmed but when no one died and life did’t crumble before me, I realized it would be OK, and it was, over time it got easier and easier. Now the word, no, is just another word to me.
There are so many people in my life that have an aversion to the word no, and because of that they are taken advantage of and are under-appreciated. I see this in the work place far too much. There are some who drop the ball and others who pick it up. I have to tell you from experience it is not the one picking it up that is catered too. It is generally not the one that goes the extra mile that gets the raise. Why? Because it is expected. It’s as simple as that.
I have clear, set boundaries these days. I don’t feel the need to do anything I don’t want to do. This does not at all mean that I am selfish. In fact, I am more selfless than I have ever been in my life. I am just more discerning now. I am more choosy about who I help, and what I do. It all comes back to the body, If I have a negative feeling about it in any way, I simply do not do it. It has to feel good for me to be on board. I have to feel a sense of peace about the situation to move forward. I trust myself enough to know what is good for me.
Life without boundaries is terrible. It’s all tense and thick. It’s stressful, who needs that? I struggled against everything in my life for many years. It wasn’t until I discovered boundaries that I realized maintaining them would be what would give me the confidence and strength to stand up and Be me, to stand up and reclaim my life. Setting boundaries is what brought me back to who I am meant to be.
My very first healthy boundary was a daily meditation practice. I committed to it and I am glad I did. Shortly following the start of my meditation practice a few more healthy boundaries popped up and they were to eat cleanly, get the proper amount of sleep, and to be hydrated every day.
I added more and more boundaries until I felt as though I was living authentically as myself. I do what feels right for me and on the flip side I don’t do anything that doesn’t. I don’t feel bad or make excuses for my decisions either, there is nothing to defend, I am simply doing what is right for me.
I have come to realize that I am as important, if not more than, anyone else out there. I have to take care of me, so I can take care of others. I used to believe that I could hate myself whole, but now I know better.
And as the great Maya Angelou said “when you know better you do better”
Does being awakened and enlightened mean that we never get angry, sad or annoyed? I don’t think so. God made us with an array of emotions, lets use them. What kind of person walks around happy all of the time. I mean, I am happy quite a lot but when something happens to annoy or anger me, the people in my life don’t know what to do.
Because it is so out of character for me to be anything but happy and uplifted these days it seems if I do have an off couple of hours it throws everyone else off as well. This is precisely what happened yesterday. I am working alone this week because my secretary is in Florida and wouldn’t you know it, this is the week one of our most important printers goes down for a couple of hours.
By the end of the whole ordeal I’m not going to lie, I was a bit frustrated, nothing serious, just a bit agitated to have to deal with this issue while I am working alone. However, on the bright side, I had a hunch that I should test the printer at like two o’clock in the afternoon, which is about two hours before I needed to use it. Had I not listened to my intuition I would have gotten backed up at the end of the day, held the boys up from loading the trucks and the worst, I would have gotten out of work late. But It all turned out well because I did listen to my intuition, did the test print, discovered it wasn’t working, and the rest is history.
I want to say thank you to my spiritual team for giving me the information to check the printer out, and I want to thank myself for listening and following that information. Turns out the Ethernet cable came loose. Chalk one up to the all-knowing!
Today is a new day. I am open and ready to move through this day with grace. I am ready to flow with what is and to be open and receptive to the hints and messages from my spiritual advisers.
My Daily Affirmations:
- I am open and receptive to the good and abundance of the universe.
- I talk less and listen more. I give people the gift of being fully present with them.
Happy Hump day my friends. Life is what you think it…
I got up this morning feeling all blah and icky. This is totally unlike me. I love getting up in the morning. It doesn’t matter if it’s Monday or Friday. I love all of the days of the week. I love going to work, I love coming home and I love everything in between. I know what you must be thinking. “oh my gosh, puke, this girl can’t be that happy.” But the truth is, I am.
So when I wake up feeling anything other than the happiness I normally feel, I immediately take to my journal to write out all the thoughts, and emotions that come up when I inquire; What do I need to know right now? Why am I feeling vibrationally off this morning? And what came through the pen were a few different things.
First, I wrote how my secretary, my partner, is on vacation and I will have to be alone and do all the work this week. Then I wrote that I am just coming off of a weekend where I ate more than I should have. And finally I wrote how I am two days from starting my period. Bingo!! That’s the one.
I knew right away that the PMS was the culprit. I know how I get just before my period. I can be grumpy, crave foods I shouldn’t be eating, and have zero energy. Now that I am aware of the elephant in the room, so to speak, I can take measures to be sure that I stay stress free. How do I do this? It’s simple. I always come back to my breath.
I will be doing many one-minute meditations for the next couple of days. I read somewhere that it is impossible to become stressed if you a responsible breather. By that I mean make sure you are getting several deep breaths throughout the day. The body needs the oxygen and your stress levels will go way down, which incidentally is why we all have belly fat.
That been said I will end this blog post with a few intentions to start my day. I like to set my intentions and desires for each day as well as those for my future pursuits. It’s a great practice to get into, since it is from our intentions and desires that creation is born. So here it goes!
- I intend on walking to and from work today. I am going to take the thirty minutes it takes to get there and back to become grounded and centered. I am going to do a walking meditation.
- I intend on working at a relaxing pace all the while having plenty of time to complete every task.
- Finally I intend on doing all of this by being present. I will be one with the present moment so that I will be open and receptive to the guidance from my spiritual advisers.
What are your intentions and desires for today?
Stop over to my Facebook page. Let’s talk and share! Waking Up in Northern NY
What does waking up mean? Waking up means to be aware of the observer within you. When we awaken we can see a clear separation between our thoughts the one who is observing those thoughts. The awareness behind those thoughts is our soul. It is our inner genius. It is in this place that all things are possible.
We are only limited in our beliefs of ourselves, but the truth is we are without limitations. It is when we come in connect with the all-knowing part of ourselves that infinite possibilities arise. We are not limited by education, intelligence or creativity. We are limited only by what we think we can or cannot achieve. We are limited only by what we tell ourselves.
Even though most awakenings happen during times of despair and suffering, we don’t have to wait for circumstances like those to align to wake up. You can do this simply by meditating. Start out with ten minutes a day, first thing in the morning. The purpose of meditating is to stretch the space between the thoughts. It is not to stop the thoughts completely which is impossible.
Some people find it hard to get into the grove of meditating. I personally do not function at my highest level without a daily meditation practice. I find it is easy to get sucked back into the drama of every day life without my daily meditation practice. Meditation helps to keep us in that space of all-knowing, it helps to ground us and it brings about a state of such peace.
Don’t take my word for it. Take ten minutes a day and clear your mind. Start in the shower if a formal mediation session is too much for you right now. Simply take your shower and pay attention the way the water feels as it runs down your body. Pay attention the smell of the steam and the feel of the soap as it lathers up between your fingers.
Use a mantra if you need to. A mantra will help you to come back to the present moment when the thoughts float in and they will float in. We cannot stop the thoughts, only slow them down. A mantra can be something as simple as So Hum, or I Am. Once you choose the mantra that best suits you, take a slow deep breath in, silently repeating the first word and exhale on the second. For example inhale on So and exhale on Hum, repeating this for as long as you feel comfortable.
Once you become comfortable with that, maybe add a couple of minutes a week until you reach twenty minutes a day. I know that many people have a block against mediation, if that is you, then you can do several one minute meditations throughout the day. I like to do this when I use the restroom. I find it easier to remember to practice my mindful, minute meditations if I link it up with something I do more than once throughout the day.
So there you have it folks. That is what waking up means to me. Please feel free to stop by my Facebook page, Waking Up in Northern NY. I am hoping to get some dialogue going on the subject. It is a subject that is near and dear to me. I am looking forward to growing and expanding through the collaboration I get from you brilliant people. So stop by and say hello. I am looking forward to meeting you.
With much Love and Light
Recently it has become really important for me to find people who are on a similar path as I am. I have actually considered moving to an area of the world that supports my beliefs, spiritually. However, I have come to understand that it may be important for me to build a foundation where I am.
That been said, this morning I changed the name of my Facebook page that corresponds to my blog to Waking Up in Northern NY. It would be completely amazing to find a group of like-minded people in my area but of course all are welcome. Having a Facebook page will allow us to communicate, ask questions and contemplate the important things in life.
Stop in and say hello. I am looking forward to creating an atmosphere of complete loving kindness. One of complete openness and acceptance for everyone. I am learning and exploring myself from the inside out, so I have a lot to learn. There is strength in numbers. Lets do this together.
What is my truth?
My truth is that I don’t know anything for certain except that I love me and love getting to know me. Have you ever asked yourself, what is your truth? It’s not as easy as one would think to put it down in black and white. Knowing my truth has become my passion.
I have become aware that my inner purpose is to awaken to the fact that I am an incredibly interesting being. Writing and learning about myself has been such an exhilarating project since starting a little over three years ago. It’s never boring and I always learn something new. For so long I wanted a hobby. I was always complaining that I was bored. Little did I know that I was the hobby I was looking for.
It all started so simply, journal writing, and meditating in the morning. In the beginning there were a lot of stuff coming to the surface that I would have normally stuffed down with food, cigarettes, alcohol or whatever was there for that day. But instead of stuffing it down I wrote it down, I wrote and wrote and wrote. It was like releasing all of this stuff to make way for a more peaceful existence.
Through it all I can happily say that I have pretty much worked through all the garbage of my past, and have become aware enough to see the conditioned patterns that developed because of that garbage. It was fun to get in there and dig deep when certain emotions would come up or certain destructive patterns would resurface.
I filled many journals, and through that I found that the more I wrote the more joyous I became. Self-awareness, self-discovery and self-discipline are, in my opinion, in the foundation for a beautifully connected life.
It was, at times, an extremely emotional journey, mostly in the very beginning. However, it didn’t take long to work through it, once I learned the art of forgiveness. I know longer wallow in my own misery, and I know longer create misery for those that I love. I have learned to forgive and have been forgiven. I finally come from a place of peace and contentment. I am able to see the universe rising up to meet me.
I am on my way. I have graduated through the first phase of my journey, clearing the pathway. With my pathway clear, I am able to enjoy the flow of the universe. I am able to clearly pick up messages meant especially for me. I can communicate with my spiritual team whenever I need them. Life has opened up to me and I am so excited to see what it has in store. It’s like a really good series that has no ending.
Onward and upward, my friends.
Life is a blessing, and since we are one with life, we are a blessing as well.
Here is my latest vision board. This board represents spiritual growth and being involved in the spiritual community. I would love nothing more than to be a part of the Hay House family, and move to a warmer climate. Carlsbad, California is where The Chopra Center and Hay House Publications are located, the reason for picking that area.
I have had some great results come from my vision boards. I am looking forward to taking this intention all the way.
I am ready to make a big move in my life.
I am ready to move to an area of the world where there are people on the same vibration as me.