how to love life

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Can You Say No Without Guilt?

Published April 20, 2015 by Stuff My Brain Thinks
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I am a firm believer that we show people how to treat us.  Do you have boundaries in place for your life?  For many years I never had, but as I learned to love myself I found that I needed boundaries, not only boundaries for myself but boundaries for others.

I needed to know what I would, and would not tolerate from the people in my life, and what I would, and would not tolerate from myself.  It took a little time and a lot of digging to figure out just what I would allow.

It wasn’t easy, but I learned to say no without guilt.  That was a big one for me since for most of my life I was a people pleaser.  The first few times I literally felt a spark in my sacral chakra.  I was, admittedly, a little over whelmed but when no one died and life did’t crumble before me, I realized it would be OK, and it was, over time it got easier and easier.  Now the word, no, is just another word to me.

There are so many people in my life that have an aversion to the word no, and because of that they are taken advantage of and are under-appreciated.  I see this in the work place far too much.  There are some who drop the ball and others who pick it up.  I have to tell you from experience it is not the one picking it up that is catered too.  It is generally not the one that goes the extra mile that gets the raise.  Why?  Because it is expected.  It’s as simple as that.

I have clear, set boundaries these days.  I don’t feel the need to do anything I don’t want to do.  This does not at all mean that I am selfish.  In fact, I am more selfless than I have ever been in my life.  I am just more discerning now.  I am more choosy about who I help, and what I do.  It all comes back to the body, If I have a negative feeling about it in any way, I simply do not do it.  It has to feel good for me to be on board.  I have to feel a sense of peace about the situation to move forward.  I trust myself enough to know what is good for me.When-you-know-better-you-do-better

Life without boundaries is terrible.  It’s all tense and thick.  It’s stressful, who needs that?  I struggled against everything in my life for many years.  It wasn’t until I discovered boundaries that I realized maintaining them would be what would give me the confidence and strength to stand up and Be me, to stand up and reclaim my life.  Setting boundaries is what brought me back to who I am meant to be.

My very first healthy boundary was a daily meditation practice.  I committed to it and I am glad I did.  Shortly following the start of my meditation practice a few more healthy boundaries popped up and they were to eat cleanly, get the proper amount of sleep, and to be hydrated every day.

I added more and more boundaries until I felt as though I was living authentically as myself.  I do what feels right for me and on the flip side I don’t do anything that doesn’t.  I don’t feel bad or make excuses for my decisions either, there is nothing to defend, I am simply doing what is right for me.

I have come to realize that I am as important, if not more than, anyone else out there.  I have to take care of me, so I can take care of others.  I used to believe that I could hate myself whole, but now I know better.

And as the great Maya Angelou said “when you know better you do better” 

❤  Michele

Waking up in Northern NY

Come on Next Chapter, Open Up for Me…

Published October 8, 2014 by Stuff My Brain Thinks

I woke this morning with a grateful heart.  I am not sure why but I will take it.  Yesterday, I was easily irritated.  By the end of the day I was annoyed with everything and everyone.  So, to wake up this morning feeling the complete opposite is kind of interesting.  I actually giggled a little at the fact that my mind was being riddled with joy and loving thoughts for everything and everyone upon waking.chapel05

I’m not complaining by any means.  I am going to revel in it and stay conscious so I can maintain it.  I am in the waiting stage to find out if I am going to get an approval for the RNY.  These few days have been the hardest, I think.  I have to keep reminding myself that when the time is right I will get my answer, and that works a lot of the time but there are times when I have allowed my egoic mind to take over and cause me to become anxious, and do something I find completely worthless, worry.

Thank goodness I am able to make the shift pretty easily, once I realize I am blocked.  I mean a day is better than a month, right?  Sometimes realizing I’m blocked takes some time.  I can only imagine that the more conscious I become the easier it will be to recognize when I am unconscious.  I heard Oprah explain that those that live unconsciously are the walking dead.

imagesWhat an interesting way to put it.  I couldn’t agree more.  If I am not living in the present, I am not living.  If I am not living in the present, I am living in the anxiety of the future or the stress of the past.  Since life only exist in the now, that is where I choose to live.  I intend to continue to meditate and hone my self-awareness to the point that I will know the minute I become blocked, and am able to make the shift and become contented and at peace once again.

Today is the third day that the insurance has been reviewing my surgery packet so I am getting close.  Thankfully, I have amazing insurance and they promised to have the answer within three days.  Woot Woot!  Come on next chapter, open up for me.  I am ready!!

My question to the universe today is; What do I have to do to get a surgery date?

Living my Life’s Purpose

Published May 1, 2014 by Stuff My Brain Thinks

Today, since the rain has stopped me from walking, I have decided to do some cooking.  One of my newest, greatest loves.  I’ve also been drawn to re-watch the Super Soul Sunday event with Eckhart Tolle.  Thankfully I had the presence of mind to save this and so many more of Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday’s.  There is a definite sense of peace I get from listening to Eckhart speak.  It is a dream of mine to be able to attend one of his live events.

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I am certain that there will come a day that I will have the means to do so.  I write while listening to their conversation.  It is so heart-opening to me.  He speaks of the power of life and how we all have the ability to be in touch with that power through the present moment.   Through Eckhart’s teaching I have learned to enjoy my life by doing what I love, by expanding my love for spirituality, by silencing the mind and living in each moment as it unfolds.  This alone is my life’s practice.

Awakening is my life’s purpose.  It is not only my life’s purpose but my responsibility to the universe.  One awakened mind brings forth the awakening in other’s.  Being that we are all interconnected to one another and all things, it is our  individual duty to take responsibility for the vibration we are transmitting.

A perfect example of this is being in the presence of a happy, laughing child.  A happy child will bring about a feeling of happiness within you, in the same way being in the presence of a person who is angry will bring about a sense of anger within yourself, as well.

Be sure the vibration you are giving out into the world is one of peace and happiness and you will notice that those around you will also be peaceful and happy.  What is in you, will also be in those around you.  Take the time to sense the feeling of your inner state of being throughout and life as you know it will change.

This in short is The Law of Giving and Receiving.

With much Love

Michele ♥

 

Awareness and the Activated Pain-Body

Published April 23, 2014 by Stuff My Brain Thinks

I just finished chapter 5 in A New Earth.  This chapter is all about the pain-body.  There was a lot about this chapter that resonated with me.  First of all, my recent sickness.  I am not one to become ill.  I am normally pretty healthy person, however looking back to what happened just before becoming sick I realized that a situation arose that activated my pain-body which allowed for a lot of negative thoughts and emotions.

eckhart-tolle-painIn the book Eckhart talks about this very point.  He speaks of something called a psychic parasite.  This psychic parasite comes in to play when our dominant pain-body becomes active and we unconsciously allow it to take over.  Allowing it to bring about negativity into our lives.  This very thing is what the pain-body feeds on.  When I became negative and allowed for the negative story to play out over and over for a few days it weakened me.

It caused my immune system to break down just enough to allow the sickness in.  Now that I am aware of this, I am going to be more conscious the next time it happens.  All I have to do is be present with it and allow whatever it is that has caused my unhappiness to be.  That is it.  There is nothing tricky about it.  I only have to allow it to be without suppressing it or trying to push it away.

This goes along with something else Eckhart has said in the past; “Whatever you resist, persist”.  Therefore the next time I have a negative emotion I am only to allow it to be.  I am only to be present with that emotion instead of telling and retelling a story about this emotion  Rethinking or retelling a story only keeps the emotion alive, and unfortunately our bodies cannot differentiate between thoughts and actual events, meaning that if a bad situation arises and we rethink that situation over and over again, the body thinks the situation is actually happening.  Doing this only creates unnecessary stress on the body, which could very well create illness.

So here I have it.  Just another form of presence I need to bring into my life.  I love working on me.  I have become one of my favorite projects.  ☺

With much love

Michele ♥

 

 

The Loves of My LIfe

Published April 22, 2014 by Stuff My Brain Thinks

It is positively heart breaking to see people “rehoming” their pets.  I guess I just don’t get it.  I have two cats and they are my precious babies.  I would not rehome them.  If I couldn’t have them where I was living I would rehome myself first.

I wish I had the room to take them all in.  It is very unfortunate.  People, please think long and hard before getting a pet.  They should be looked at as one of your children, not a thing that can be discarded when they are no longer convenient.  They have feelings and contrary to what most people believe, animals do think.  They do have anxiety and depression when things are out of sorts for them.

Below are pictures of my babies.  The older one was abandoned and moved in with us a couple of years ago.  He came to me at a time when I needed him the most.  My landlord didn’t allow pets and threatened to kick us out if we didn’t get rid of him, so we moved.  Simply as that.  He needed us and we needed him, and we were not about to abandon him as well.  The little one’s name is Tootsie.  We adopted her from the animal shelter when she was about 10 weeks old.  This picture shows her ride home from the shelter.

They both mean the world to me, and it is perfectly OK if you want to call me the crazy cat, I wear that label with pride.  ☺

 

A Quick How-Do-Ya-Do

Published April 21, 2014 by Stuff My Brain Thinks

imagesIt has been such a long few days.  I have been a bit under the weather.  I am not one to succumb to the common cold but this one kicked my butt.  I ended up having to suck it up and go to the doctors, this morning.  Turns out I have an acute case of bronchitis, and ear infection and sore throat, nothing a little antibiotic wont take care of.

I have been missing my WordPress community and thought it was about time to get in here and post a short entry as to my where-abouts.

I hope everyone had an amazing Easter and enjoyed time with their loved ones.

Day 4: Finding Love

Published April 17, 2014 by Stuff My Brain Thinks

Once again, what can I say, today’s meditation was amazing.  It is entitled “Finding Love” and the centering thought for the day is “My love and compassion are within”.  It left me feeling loved, loved by my myself.  There is no greater love, than unconditional love for oneself.  There are times that I will become down on myself for something I may have said or done that could have been handled better.  From now on I will inhale with love and forgive myself as I would anyone else in my life.

Today I am going to do things a little differently.  Instead of going to the gym I am going to put on my headphones and some upbeat music and do some cooking and deep cleaning.  I am going to prepare some meals for a later time.  I miss cooking.  It’s been quite sometime since I have taken the time to enjoy it so this morning is the time.

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I have spent the better part of two hours accomplishing a ton.  I have cleaned my bathroom, cooked some meals and danced to Michael Jackson on Pandora.  I feel amazing.  What a spectacular morning.  Now, this weekend I don’t have to spend time doing these things.  Maybe, just maybe, the weather will allow us to get out to the nature center and enjoy some peaceful time in the woods.

Well I am off now to finish up chapter four in A New Earth.  I am a bit behind in my reading.  Sunday, Eckhart and Oprah will be reviewing Chapter five, so I better get on it.  ☺  I hope you all have a blessed day.

With much love

Michele ♥

Day 2: Finding Happiness

Published April 15, 2014 by Stuff My Brain Thinks

Oh yeah, another day!  What could be sweeter.  When I got up this morning is was 57 degrees outside.  The birds are chirping away and the sun has yet to come up.  What an amazing gift.  It is bound to be a wonderful day.  I have absolutely nothing planned.  Today I intend on winging it.  The best plan, to have no plan at all, to simply flow from situation to situation, just being.  I have no expectations and there is no place I would rather be than in this moment.

quotes-of-the-day-life-7-300x300Knowing that neither the past or the future exist now, leaves life wide open for peace and contentedness.  This mornings meditation was amazing and left me feeling “Ah inspired“.  Today’s centering thought “I am the source of unlimited happiness” and believe it or not, after a short twenty minutes, I am exuding happiness.  I am ready to go to the gym and kick-start my day.  I am ready to enjoy each and ever moment as it unfolds.

Remember, it is the ego that creates a need for over indulgence, and the ego cannot thrive with awareness so take time today to be aware of every moment.  Take time to notice your breath and feel the inner aliveness in your hands.  Notice the tingle of the inner vibrations of your body and your need for more will diminish.  Take time to check in with yourself throughout the day to be sure your not projecting your thoughts to the past or the future.  Neither of these exist in the present moment and going there will only create unnecessary stress.

Treat your body with dignity and respect and it will become your greatest ally~Deepak Chopra

 

 

Reflections of My Very First Vision Board

Published April 8, 2014 by Stuff My Brain Thinks
Car from very same vision board

Car from very same vision board

Today is the negotiation part of the interview process.  Then, I guess I will have some heavy decision-making to do.  At least the new company is going to allow me to give the company I am at right now about a months notice.  I certainly don’t want to abandon anyone or leave with hard feelings.  It’s hard for me to believe that this new company is going to be able to outdo what I am getting right now.  Being that I have a family of five and health care is not cheap, that alone is a large expense when taking on a new employee.

All I know is I wont be making any hasty decisions.  I will take the time to think about, and talk it over with my husband, before making any final decisions.  However, it is in the back of my mind that when I made my very first vision board I posted a picture of the car that I have always wanted.  This car was so far out of reach for me it wasn’t even funny.  I put it on the same board that landed me the little house I am living in right now.  That car is a Dodge Charger, and get this, the company I am in negotiations with is a Dodge dealership.

Could this be God’s way of getting me closer to owning that Dodge Charger I have always wanted?  Could this be the guidance of the universe to make my vision come to fruition?  I know that some of you may scoff at the idea of vision boards, but I can only tell you that only a few months after making my first vision board I bought a house that was almost identical to the house I posted on it.  Coincidence?  I think not!

Since that time I have made several other’s, mostly on spiritual awakening and healthy living .  Could it be time to make yet another with a new set of dreams?  Just to show you all what I am talking about, below is the house I posted on the vision board and the house I bought a few months later.  Above is the car that I post on the very same vision board.  I absolutely love my little house.  It is cozy and comfortable, but before posting it, I had no intention of ever owning a house again, since I lost my first house through the loss of a business.  Not only did I have no intention of owning again, I thought it was out of the question due to losing my first one to foreclosure.

It is what it is.  I am not going to take this new job unless it screams “this is right for you“.  I have a hunch that I will know right away whether or not this is what I am supposed to do.  I have kept my mind still, I have made no assumptions either way, and I am not in a position that I have to do anything.  I am certain that God will give me the answer at the exact right time I am to know it.  I fully trust my intuition and the guidance of the universe, therefore, I am off to enjoy my day and all the opportunities that should arise.

The first house is the one that was posted on my vision board and the second is the one I bought a few months later ☺

 

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