Weight-Loss Surgery

This week I did something I didn’t think I would ever do.  I called and made my first appointment of many to look into getting the weight-loss surgery.  I said I would never do it but since losing a hundred pounds last year, I have had a change of heart.  Once again I made it to 199 pounds and am slowly creeping back the other way.  It’s not that I dislike myself.  On the contrary, it’s that I love myself and I know that in order to be truly healthy I have to get to a healthy weight.

I don’t know if I will go through with it or if I am even a candidate at this point, but I am going to take the time to look into it.  I deserve to experience life as a person of a healthy weight once and for all.  I am ready to finally get to where I am supposed to be and stay there.  However, until then I will do my best not to gain to much weight.  I worked so hard to get that first hundred off, I don’t want to have to take it off all over again.

I will do everything that is required of me, and as with everything I do, I will do my very best.  I am putting this in God’s hands.  Meaning, if it is what is right for me, it will happen, and if not, it wont.  At this point I have no expectations.  I am simply taking the steps to see if it is right for me.

A Quick How-Do-Ya-Do

It has been such a long few days.  I have been a bit under the weather.  I am not one to succumb to the common cold but this one kicked my butt.  I ended up having to suck it up and go to the doctors, this morning.  Turns out I have an acute case of bronchitis, and ear infection and sore throat, nothing a little antibiotic wont take care of.

I have been missing my WordPress community and thought it was about time to get in here and post a short entry as to my where-abouts.

I hope everyone had an amazing Easter and enjoyed time with their loved ones.

Day 4: Finding Love

Once again, what can I say, today’s meditation was amazing.  It is entitled “Finding Love” and the centering thought for the day is “My love and compassion are within”.  It left me feeling loved, loved by my myself.  There is no greater love, than unconditional love for oneself.  There are times that I will become down on myself for something I may have said or done that could have been handled better.  From now on I will inhale with love and forgive myself as I would anyone else in my life.

Today I am going to do things a little differently.  Instead of going to the gym I am going to put on my headphones and some upbeat music and do some cooking and deep cleaning.  I am going to prepare some meals for a later time.  I miss cooking.  It’s been quite sometime since I have taken the time to enjoy it so this morning is the time.

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I have spent the better part of two hours accomplishing a ton.  I have cleaned my bathroom, cooked some meals and danced to Michael Jackson on Pandora.  I feel amazing.  What a spectacular morning.  Now, this weekend I don’t have to spend time doing these things.  Maybe, just maybe, the weather will allow us to get out to the nature center and enjoy some peaceful time in the woods.

Well I am off now to finish up chapter four in A New Earth.  I am a bit behind in my reading.  Sunday, Eckhart and Oprah will be reviewing Chapter five, so I better get on it.  ☺  I hope you all have a blessed day.

With much love

Michele ♥

Day 2: Finding Happiness

Oh yeah, another day!  What could be sweeter.  When I got up this morning is was 57 degrees outside.  The birds are chirping away and the sun has yet to come up.  What an amazing gift.  It is bound to be a wonderful day.  I have absolutely nothing planned.  Today I intend on winging it.  The best plan, to have no plan at all, to simply flow from situation to situation, just being.  I have no expectations and there is no place I would rather be than in this moment.

Knowing that neither the past or the future exist now, leaves life wide open for peace and contentedness.  This mornings meditation was amazing and left me feeling “Ah inspired“.  Today’s centering thought “I am the source of unlimited happiness” and believe it or not, after a short twenty minutes, I am exuding happiness.  I am ready to go to the gym and kick-start my day.  I am ready to enjoy each and ever moment as it unfolds.

Remember, it is the ego that creates a need for over indulgence, and the ego cannot thrive with awareness so take time today to be aware of every moment.  Take time to notice your breath and feel the inner aliveness in your hands.  Notice the tingle of the inner vibrations of your body and your need for more will diminish.  Take time to check in with yourself throughout the day to be sure your not projecting your thoughts to the past or the future.  Neither of these exist in the present moment and going there will only create unnecessary stress.

Treat your body with dignity and respect and it will become your greatest ally~Deepak Chopra

 

 

Reflections of My Very First Vision Board

Car from very same vision board

Today is the negotiation part of the interview process.  Then, I guess I will have some heavy decision-making to do.  At least the new company is going to allow me to give the company I am at right now about a months notice.  I certainly don’t want to abandon anyone or leave with hard feelings.  It’s hard for me to believe that this new company is going to be able to outdo what I am getting right now.  Being that I have a family of five and health care is not cheap, that alone is a large expense when taking on a new employee.

All I know is I wont be making any hasty decisions.  I will take the time to think about, and talk it over with my husband, before making any final decisions.  However, it is in the back of my mind that when I made my very first vision board I posted a picture of the car that I have always wanted.  This car was so far out of reach for me it wasn’t even funny.  I put it on the same board that landed me the little house I am living in right now.  That car is a Dodge Charger, and get this, the company I am in negotiations with is a Dodge dealership.

Could this be God’s way of getting me closer to owning that Dodge Charger I have always wanted?  Could this be the guidance of the universe to make my vision come to fruition?  I know that some of you may scoff at the idea of vision boards, but I can only tell you that only a few months after making my first vision board I bought a house that was almost identical to the house I posted on it.  Coincidence?  I think not!

Since that time I have made several other’s, mostly on spiritual awakening and healthy living .  Could it be time to make yet another with a new set of dreams?  Just to show you all what I am talking about, below is the house I posted on the vision board and the house I bought a few months later.  Above is the car that I post on the very same vision board.  I absolutely love my little house.  It is cozy and comfortable, but before posting it, I had no intention of ever owning a house again, since I lost my first house through the loss of a business.  Not only did I have no intention of owning again, I thought it was out of the question due to losing my first one to foreclosure.

It is what it is.  I am not going to take this new job unless it screams “this is right for you“.  I have a hunch that I will know right away whether or not this is what I am supposed to do.  I have kept my mind still, I have made no assumptions either way, and I am not in a position that I have to do anything.  I am certain that God will give me the answer at the exact right time I am to know it.  I fully trust my intuition and the guidance of the universe, therefore, I am off to enjoy my day and all the opportunities that should arise.

The first house is the one that was posted on my vision board and the second is the one I bought a few months later ☺

House I posted on the vision board

House I bought

 

Food; My Drug of Choice

It’s Monday morning.  I am up, enjoying the peace and tranquility of my home.  Everyone else is sleeping.  This is my time.  People often ask how I can go to bed so early and get up so early.  If they only knew how wonderful it is they would, too, do the same.  The weekend was rough.  I am glad that it is over.  I have learned that I don’t handle stress well.  I am not unlike the drug addict or the alcoholic in that I feed life’s stresses with things, only, my drug of choice is food.

I know that self-awareness is the key to change, therefore, I must be close to changing this, because, I, not only know that I am doing it, but announce it to those around me.  Yesterday while trying to eat away the stress of car problems, I was sure to tell everyone, that I know I have a problem, that my body doesn’t even want what I am eating, that I am doing it simply to appease my mind.

I am one to view all of life’s challenges as lessons, and I know that this is certainly one of them.  I eat when I am stressed out and it doesn’t make my problems go away or make them any better.  I know that the chances of me living a life without situations that cause stress is just not going to happen, unless I turn into a care bear and live my life in the land of glitter and unicorns.  So, I am at an impasse, you might say.  I know what I am doing is not working, therefore, do I continue to do it, or find a better, more constructive way to deal with my stress?

I have to hope that since I am consciously doing it, I must be close to stopping it.  Right?  I am praying so because it’s beginning to become very discouraging, to say the least.  I am thankful that God grants us a clean fresh start every single day.  I know that the minute my eyes open I have the opportunity to make things right.  And I also know that as long as I try, I am I can’t lose.  God helps those who help themselves, so as long as I continue to help myself, I believe that God will bless me with the answers to, finally put this test to rest.

How to React to the Ego

Today I intend on going over Chapter 3 of A New Earth with Oprah and Eckhart on OWN.  I have thoroughly enjoyed learning about the ego.  With my new found awareness I am able to spot it much quicker and easier.  What I have come to realize is, it is there.  It is always there, and if I were to live in a state of unconsciousness, it would, without a doubt, take over and control every action and reaction to life.

I noticed yesterday when talking with someone who obviously operates solely from the perspective of the ego, that being present with this person, was the only way to go.  Last week when I tried to explain my side of things it only created aggressive behavior.  While this week, I simply listened with full awareness and nodded slightly while she was speaking which made for a much calmer and less intense exchange.  I can only surmise that by being fully conscious and nonreactive that this allowed her ego to feel less threatened and superior.

What a wonderful lesson.  If nothing else, I have learned how to react the to ego in another.  I have learned that it is not important that I state my case because not everyone is going to get it anyway, and if I am able to bring about a sense of peace within someone else, I am all for it.  Watch here for a thirty second explanation of what the ego is by Eckhart.  This tiny little clip will open you up to recognizing the ego, not only in ones self, but in others.  Once awareness is brought about, the ego no longer has control, as the ego cannot survive awareness.

 

 

What Will You Do with the Next 86,400 Seconds of Your Day?

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It occurred to me this morning, soon after my meditation session was complete, that simply meditating for twenty minutes in the morning is just not enough.  I must be able to take the meditation even further by experiencing the stillness in all situations.  This has been a practice for a while now and by practice I mean, just that, practice.  I have to remind myself to do this, not only daily but hourly.  It makes all the difference in how I react to life’s events.  Surrender is peace, surrender is power.  I don’t know where I head that, but I am sure it came from someone great.  ☺

I was always one to fight against just about everything that came into my life. I lived in a state of denial, believing that if I ignored difficult situations they would simply go away.  Boy, was I wrong.  Not only did they not go away but eventually they compounded into a situation so large that it could no longer be ignored.  Eventually I was forced to face it and deal with it anyway, so why not deal with it Immediately, right?  This has been a huge lesson for me, but I think I have finally got it.

First I have learned to accept the situation for what it is, relax and allow the solution to present itself.  That’s it!  It’s really that easy.  It’s difficult to recognize that best possible solutions to a perceived problem if we are all tied up in knots on the inside, fighting against the problem in the first place.  A great man once said; “What you resist persist”, that great man is Eckhart tolle.

He obviously knows what he is talking about, because I spent years resisting the acceptance of my body and my body became more and more out of balance.  I spent years resisting the acceptance of myself and I became more and more depressed and difficult to deal with.

Now, I can honestly say that I love and honor my body, as well as, myself.  There are times when my blasted ego wants to pop up and question me, but with the help of Eckhart, I have learned to become aware of it, and as Eckhart says the ego cannot survive with awareness.  Essentially awareness is the ego’s kryptonite, therefore it is my mission to recognize it and put a kabosh to its old conditioned way of thinking.

With all of that being said, I am off to enjoy my Friday!  I am going to move through my day with acute consciousness.  I am going to stay in the Now and enjoy every minute of this gift. we call today.  May you all have the best day ever, while cherishing the 86,400 seconds within.

 

Blah Blah Blah, My Intentions and The Law of Giving

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Yesterday’s interview went well.  The gentlemen that interviewed me seemed very genuine and nice.  The job was not offered in any way, however they did ask me what I was looking for as far as compensation, and I was honest enough to tell them what I was making at my current place of employment and that I am looking for an increase.  They said they would discuss it and get back with me in a week or so.

Since then, my mind wants to try to replay the entire conversation, analyzing me and everything I said.  I know this is my ego just trying to figure out if I fit in, but what I want to say to my ego is, bug off!  It doesn’t matter if I fit in.  I didn’t rehearse what I was going to say because I wanted everything to come from an authentic place.  I didn’t over think it because I didn’t want to appear nervous or needy.  After all, I am not needy.  I have a job with a company I care a great deal for and if this other company doesn’t feel I am a good fit for them, it is nothing personal.  It simply is, what it is.  That been said, I am off to enjoy my day.

My intentions

I intend on taking the time to focus on my inner aliveness.  I intend on paying attention to the old conditioning of my mind and ridding it of the unnecessary thought patterns that continue to creep in.  I intend on spending my day being present with whatever it is I am doing and enjoy the excitement of whatever today brings.  I also, intend on giving my full attention to anyone who needs me or anyone who simply has something to say to me.  Finally, I intend on going with the flow knowing all well, that I will know exactly what to do, when I need to do it with the help of my intuition.

The Law of Giving

• Listen and you will be heard
• Understand and you will be understood
• Love and you will be loved
• Be compassionate and you will receive compassion
• Bless and you shall be blessed

 

 

☺ Booyah ☺

I just had an AHA moment.  For those of you who aren’t aware of what an aha moment is, it is spirit recognizing spirit.  It is when you hear something or become aware of something that resonates so deeply that is touches your soul.  Anyway, I have been feeling really amazing lately.  I mean the kind of amazing that allows causeless joy and bliss to bubble up from your core unexpectedly.

On the way home from the gym this morning I felt this feeling of love and complete and utter bliss well up from inside of me, it was so strong it nearly took my breath away and my first thought was; “wow that was amazing, what am I doing that is causing this to happen?” And it was right at that moment that I realized that what I am doing is following my intuition.  You know, that still small voice that tries to steer you in the right direction, just before the louder voice tells you not to listen and do what you want.  Yea, that still small voice, like I said is my intuition and that much louder voice, is that of my ego.

It became clear this morning that since keeping check on my ego and ultimately following my intuition lately that I have found the bliss that I truly deserve.  Let me give an example that everyone can relate to:  There is a cosmic brownie in my pantry.  Now, I love cosmic brownies.  They are sweet and chocolatey and have little candies on top.  Who wouldn’t love one of those, right?

Last night I thought about eating it.  I even checked the calories and found there was 500 calories in the whole thing.  Immediately my intuition said, “don’t do it, all of that sugar is not good for your body.”  So, I put it back and went back to the living room.  As soon as my butt hit the chair the louder, more forceful voice of my ego came through and said: “Oh just do it.  It’s only 500 calories.  You’ve done excellent today.  Five hundred calories doesn’t even equal a pound, what can it hurt.”

Thankfully, I didn’t listen to my ego and had a small bowl of popcorn instead.  However, I know my ego quite well and it is not about to give up.  It knows that brownie is still in the cupboard and it is going to try its damnedest to wear me down.  Thankfully I am aware of it and I will not let this happen.  That brownie is out of here today!!  I will let my family know that it has to either be eaten before I get home from work or it is going into the trash.

I feel like I have just scored a point for Michele!!  Intuition, one…  Ego, zero…